Etiquette in my life. The role of etiquette in modern life. What is family etiquette

09.03.2020

Tatyana Bondareva

Open lesson.

On the topic: Etiquette in our life.

INTRODUCTION

2 slide. Hello, our conversation, you guessed it, will be about etiquette.

So, ETIQUETTE - rules, manners - it would seem that we are well familiar with childhood. We are taught to be polite and tactful, in communication, to have a neat appearance, behave aesthetically at the table, confidently use cutlery, etc. But as H. Hegel wrote (philosopher of the late 18th early 19th century)."the familiar is not yet the known", and this can be fully attributed to etiquette.

3 slide. Target our lesson"Study the characteristics etiquette»

It is impossible to list all the rules that make up the perfect code of good manners. But if you think about it, it is based on two basic principles from which all the rest follow. To understand them means to receive the key that will allow everyone, always and everywhere, under any circumstances, almost instinctively to find a way out of an unexpected situation.

First of all, it is respect for oneself, without which there can be no true respect for another.

And secondly, it is the principle of reciprocity. You can't just give or just receive.

Such one-sidedness will quickly lead to a dead end. It's important for us to be successful. "Do to others the same way you would like to be treated to you."

The rules of conduct in society are called - Etiquette. This is a French word meaning "established order of conduct anywhere". And it is no coincidence that it stands next to the words « ethics» And « label» .

Ethics deals with the rules of conduct, and labels originally called special cards on which the rules were written. Such labels were distributed in France at the royal court, Louis 14 so that everyone could check whether he was doing the right thing in this or that situation.

What are the rules for? etiquette or rules of conduct?.

Everything is very simple. So that people do not interfere with each other, do not harm, do not cause inconvenience, do not insult, do not offend. "Good manners are those who embarrass the least number of people." (D. Swift - English writer, lived in 1667-1745, author "Gulliver's Journey")

4 slide. Aphorisms about etiquette

Respect for others gives rise to respect for oneself. Rene Descartes

Man's manners are a mirror in which his portrait is reflected.

5 slide What is etiquette?

Etiquette- is the order of behavior in a certain situation. For example, business etiquette- these are the rules of conduct for an employee at work, at negotiations, at a banquet with the presence of business partners. normal, common etiquette tells how to receive guests and go to visit yourself, how to behave or give gifts. Up to which hand it is customary to hold a knife, and in which fork. Interestingly, each culture complements the generally accepted etiquette with its own characteristics. Initially there was only a courtier etiquette and now there are many.

001.Kak.pravilno.znakomitjsya

Slide 6 Now let's talk

about the rules etiquette! see a series of "School of Good Manners"- how to meet

7 slide Rules handling etiquette.

1. How to contact people: There are three kinds appeals:

1. Official (citizen, master);

2. Friendly (dear colleague, old man, dear friend);

3. Familiar, permissible only among the closest friends.

Older people should be addressed with "you".

Unfamiliar peers should also be addressed to "you".

"You" is used only for the closest friends.

8 slide 2. General rules for greeting at a meeting

The younger ones greet the elders first, men - women, a woman greets a man who is much older than her. Exceptions to this regulations: who entered the room, whether it be a man or a woman, is the first to greet those present, leaving - the first to say goodbye to those who remain.

Having greeted his peer, a man can sit down. If he greets an older man or woman, then he can sit down only after they sit down, or with their permission. If the mistress of the house offers to sit down, but she herself continues to stand, you should not sit down.

It is not customary to greet through the threshold, through the table, through any partition.

9 slide 3. How communication begins

Any acquaintance, and indeed any communication, begins with a greeting. What should it be?

By etiquette, you need to greet the person words:

"Hello!"

"Good morning!" "Good afternoon!" "Good evening! "

10 slide 4. What is important in a greeting

Intonation: A very important element of greeting! Greeting in a rude or dry tone can offend the person you are greeting. Greet people in a warm and friendly manner.

Smile. "Added" to the greeting smile will improve the overall mood.

Gestures. It is customary to accompany the greeting with a nod of the head, a handshake, kisses on the cheek, hugs.

11 slide How to behave on a birthday

We always look forward to this day. Knowing that we will receive wonderful gifts! But the greatest joy comes from the celebration of a birthday itself.

Now teenagers like noisy, happy days birthday, so that the program includes competitions, entertainment, and dancing!

12 slide

It must be remembered that the following are considered bad manners actions:

Use a comb and cosmetics at the table;

Without special need to leave your place during the holiday;

Talk to someone through the person sitting next to you;

A gift is a symbol of respect, attention, appreciation, love, kindness to a person.

Expensive things are presented only to very close people.

They don't give what they don't like. - A bad gift is worse than no gift.

Don't give "live" gifts without consent birthday boy: kitten, silk, hamster, fish, birds.

On a birthday, they give only a new thing.

Handing over a gift, they say a few warm words, according to the celebration.

14 slide Gifts are divided into two categories:

Souvenirs - books, wallet, wallet, figurines, toys, cosmetics, games, and other small items;

Valuable - services, jewelry, clothing, decorative vases, appliances.

And, of course, no one spares smiles!

15 slide The art of conversation

1. A truly educated person will try to cover only those topics that will be of interest to all participants in the conversation.

2. The word is a powerful enough tool. Therefore, you should not grab the interlocutor by the hand, clap on the shoulder. You need to learn to attract attention with words, not gestures. Excessive gestures are ridiculous.

3. Also, you should not portray what you are telling, if it’s not funny for you, make a face. Even the most successful joke should not be laughed at out loud. Not in vain they say: restraint is the best of manners. It is very indecent to attract everyone's attention to yourself.

4. In a general conversation about those present, it is worth speaking by name, it is indecent to use words "is he" And "she".

5. You must speak clearly, without raising or lowering your voice, do not mutter, do not rush, do not swallow words.

6. When in a society or group you want to tell a friend any information that concerns only the two of you, then you should not whisper in his ear. The rest may think wrong and be offended in vain, it is better to postpone your conversation until a later time.

17 slide Talking on the phone

1. The first words of the caller, the tone, the timbre of the voice are very important. Therefore, the first words are always words of greeting, no matter who answers the phone.

2. The person who is calling must introduce himself, and only after that ask the right person to the phone.

3. At the beginning of the conversation, it would be good to ask if this call has interrupted an important matter.

4. Avoid idle chatter on the phone. If you're in need of a heart-to-heart conversation, it's best to meet with a friend face to face.

5. If it happens that you have the wrong number, you should not ask "What is your number?", and should politely ask: "Is your number like this?".

6. According to the rules of courtesy, you can not disturb people on the home phone at too late a time - after 21-22 pm, as well as early in the morning when people are still sleeping

19 slide Why do you need to take care of your image?

The people with whom we communicate, one way or another, create in their minds our image based on perception. our appearance, manners, behavior, speech

What should be the image:

1. attractive appearance;

2. competent speech;

3. independent natural behavior;

4. decent manners;

5. calm reaction to praise and criticism.

APPENDIX

20 slide (the screen saver remains and the quiz passes)

Quiz

Sample list of questions.

1. Your place at the festive table defines:

A) hostess:

B) you yourself;

C) your friends.

2. Who invites guests to the table, sits down first and starts eating?

A) The most cheerful and active guy;

B) Honored guest;

B) hostess.

3. Boys and girls are seated behind table:

A) Whatever. It does not matter;

B) Girls - closer to the hostess on the one hand, boys - on the other;

C) ^ Alternately: girl - boy, girl - boy.

4. At the table, the boy first of all pays attention to what who:

A) sits to his right;

B) sits to his left;

B) chief guest

5. You sit down at the table, take a beautifully folded napkin from the diner plate. And:

A) Put it next to the plate;

B) ^ Put her on your knees;

B) Tuck it in by the collar.

6. During lunch you:

A) You will make sure that your hands do not lie on the table;

b) Put your elbows on the table;

C) ^ You will try to keep your hands on the table.

7. On the festive table, and to the right and left of the plate, there are two knives and two forks, respectively, and behind the plate are a teaspoon and a fruit knife. You first use:

B) Devices closest to the plate;

C) Those devices that lie behind the plate.

8. What to do if the guest served too hot soup:

A) ^ You will have to wait a bit until it cools down, and then start eating;

B) Blow on the soup so that it cools faster;

C) There is burning - you are away.

9. Finishing the soup, you:

A) Tilt the plate towards you;

B) Tilt the plate away from you;

C) ^ Leave the last spoonful of soup at the bottom of the bowl.

10. How should you hold a cup of tea?

A) Insert your index finger for reliability in the eye of the pen;

B) ^ Hold the cup by the handle with the fingers of your right hand, without sticking your finger into the eye of the handle;

C) Support the cup from below with your left hand.

11. What should you do if you take a piece of something in your mouth and find that the dish is too salty?

A) Immediately spit out a piece on the fork and put it on the edge of the plate;

B) ^ A piece taken into the mouth must be swallowed without explanation;

C) Make a remark to the hostess and demand to remove the dish from the table.

12. Should guests say thank you when they leave? hosts:

A) It's useless. The hosts should thank the guests for coming to their

congratulate;

B) ^ Guests are sure to thank the hosts for their hospitality;

C) They should only if they liked visiting and they have a good

mood.

"Folk Wisdom"

Explain the meaning of the proverb

Examples of proverbs.

"A guest is welcomed twice".

Everyone who comes to visit should be able to leave on time. Unfortunately, not everyone understands this. Therefore, noticing that guests often stay too long, our people came up with this saying. The first time the guest is happy when he comes, and the second time - when he leaves.

“It is not the owner’s house that paints, but the owner’s house”.

No matter how beautiful the house is, it cannot make it pleasant. our stay in it if the owner is inhospitable and inattentive to the guests. If the owner is joyful, friendly, amiable, his smile will decorate any nondescript house and make it pleasant for guests to stay in it.

"The owner is merry - the guests are joyful".

The guests and the host are one team whose members are closely related to each other. The emotions and mood of the owner are transmitted to the guests. The owner is sad - the guests are not up to fun. At any holiday, laughter and fun are the most important things, and without the smile of the owner, they are impossible.

"Get angry, fight, fight, and get together for bread and salt".

Expression "bread and salt" has become synonymous with treats, food, hospitality. During the meal, all grievances and quarrels should be forgotten. Quarrels and squabbles during meals are completely unacceptable.

“In a strange house, do not be perceptive, but be friendly”.

This proverb contains a clear rule etiquette: when visiting, do not look at the furnishings of the rooms, do not Ask: “And what is this ... and why is this?”, do not touch anything without the permission of the owners. And be friendly, benevolent, tactful, modest.

"The gift is not expensive, the love is expensive".

The meaning of the saying is that it doesn’t matter what kind of gift they give you - expensive, cheap, big or small, but love, respect and attention are significant.

The host says that you can explain not only with words, but also with gestures, you can also express your attitude with facial expressions. Is there another language? Yes, there is another language "cutlery". Participants are asked to demonstrate proficiency in this language.

scene "Courteous Conversation"

The story is very polite and not too short

One Englishman pushed an Englishman

And immediately said:

"Sorry, by accident."

Second Englishman kindly answered:

"I'm sorry, but I didn't notice anything." -

"No, no, it's you, for God's sake, I'm sorry." -

"I'm sorry, but what should I forgive, explain." -

"How -" what should I forgive "? Isn't it clear?" -

"Sir, you are worried, right, in vain:

What exactly do I have to excuse you for?"

Englishman

Pushed an Englishman

And immediately said:

"Sorry -

By accident."

To which the interlocutor kindly answered:

"Sorry,

But I didn't notice anything."

It's you, for God's sake, forgive.

"Sorry,

But why should I forgive?

Explain." -

"How -" what should I forgive?

Isn't it clear?"

Are you worried right? in vain:

I would be glad to forgive you, but I do not understand

What exactly

I must excuse you!"

Englishman

And immediately said:

"Sorry.

By accident!"

What is the interlocutor

Answered:

"Sorry, but-

I didn't notice anything!"

For God's sake, forgive me!"

"Sorry,

But why should I forgive!

Explain!"

"How -" what should I forgive?

Isn't it clear!"

Are you worried

right, wrong:

I would like to forgive you

But I don't understand

What exactly

I must excuse you!"

ENGLISHMAN

Englishman!

And immediately said:

"SORRY UNEXPECTED!"

Companion

Otherwise:

"Sorry,

But I'll probably hit you back."

V e f l i v o - v e f l i v o

Two Englishmen

add salt

Both breakfast and lunch.

A LITTLE

play pranks -

There is nothing bad in this.

fight

For the weak, for example.

Even politeness is a disaster

When you forget the measure

21 slide Summing up

Once again, we note that polite treatment of other people always speaks favorably about you. A sincere smile charges a person with positive emotions for the whole day, a compliment said to the place also cheers up, and mutual politeness and respect help to avoid unnecessary quarrels and conflicts.

From our today's conversation, you realized that etiquette- it is part of the culture of any society, which has been developed for centuries. Over time, some traditions have changed, and some have been transformed into unshakable rules. Without some of them, we cannot even imagine our a life. For example, how can you walk past a familiar person and not say hello or thank you for the service rendered. Today etiquette is one of the main sources of cultural values. Many rules etiquette is very simple and some need to learn. It is the notions of "What is good and what is bad" you will get if you study etiquette.

Etiquette is a specially established order of conduct in a variety of places, where social principles require these rules. The rules of etiquette are a cultural phenomenon, and a historically variable phenomenon, expressed in different forms in different time layers and among representatives of different peoples. The desire to behave in a certain way has been inherent in a person for many centuries, but the rules of behavior during this time have undergone significant changes: time has eliminated everything pretentious, unreasonable, useless, leaving only the most reasonable rules. Modern etiquette has become less ceremonial, more simple and democratic. It is designed today to a greater extent for the rapprochement of people who differ in their social status, and for mutual respect. Etiquette can be viewed to a greater extent as the rules of communication, a means of regulating the relations of people entering into communication.

Etiquette is not identical to ethics, although these concepts are often referred to as synonymous. Ethics is the branch of philosophy concerned with morality and morality.

An important concept is the "ethical etiquette" - a certain criterion that allows you to assess the degree of compliance of the established rules with the moral standards of society. Only such rules of conduct will most likely remain unchanged over time, since they are a reflection of the spiritual wealth of society, the degree of its civilization. The norms of etiquette represent the most severe restriction - formalized behavior, they can be violated even by doing a good deed, for example, if it turned out to be not attractive enough from an aesthetic point of view. Ethical norms are a more voluminous category, they are already more difficult to violate, because in order to be a moral, ethical person, it is necessary, first of all, to be guided by the maximum convenience in relation to others. And, finally, the rules of law, they are most strictly formulated, a person who violates them enters into a serious conflict with society, sometimes even unsafe for life. Violation of the rule of law, as a rule, is a deliberate opposition to society, and therefore the punishment for this violation is much more significant than for violation of the norms of morality or etiquette. However, it is important to realize that the violation of any norms accepted by society is always a conflict with society, even if these are “insignificant” from the point of view of some norms of decency.

Diagram 1: Social norms limiting communication

Etiquette culture has many functions, and one of them is a special language of communication, which makes it possible, while maintaining the sovereignty of each individual, to achieve mutual understanding and mutual respect, and ultimately to form that aura of human culture in which only a person can normally exist and develop. Etiquette, culture of speech and culture of communication are not identical concepts. Etiquette is the core of the culture of communication, it organizes and regulates communication according to its own laws and rules. Etiquette is a model of communicative behavior, and the culture of communication is a more capacious concept, denoting the reality of this behavior with all its positive and negative manifestations.

However, one must realize that only ideas about the norms of etiquette are not enough in order to be educated. It is necessary to constantly apply and improve these rules until they become familiar, natural.

All good manners are based on one

caring - caring for a person

did not interfere with the person, and all together would feel good D.S. Likhachev.

Etiquette is not identical to ethics, although these concepts are often referred to as synonymous. Ethics is the branch of philosophy concerned with morality and morality.

An important concept is the "ethics of etiquette" - a certain criterion that allows you to assess the degree of compliance of the established rules with the moral standards of society. Only such rules of conduct will most likely remain unchanged over time, since they are a reflection of the spiritual wealth of society, the degree of its civilization. The norms of etiquette represent the most severe restriction - formalized behavior, they can be violated even by doing a good deed, for example, if it turned out to be not attractive enough from an aesthetic point of view. Ethical norms are a more voluminous category, they are already more difficult to violate, because in order to be a moral, ethical person, it is necessary, first of all, to be guided by the maximum convenience in relation to others. And, finally, the rules of law, they are most strictly formulated, a person who violates them enters into a serious conflict with society, sometimes even unsafe for life. Violation of the rule of law, as a rule, is a deliberate opposition to society, and therefore the punishment for this violation is much more significant than for violation of the norms of morality or etiquette. However, it is important to realize that the violation of any norms accepted by society is always a conflict with society, even if these are “insignificant” from the point of view of some norms of decency.

Diagram 1: Social norms limiting communication

traditions

1 - a system of etiquette customs

Business Etiquette

moral standards

2 - a system of ethics

moral standards

3 - system of legal norms;

Topic 2. Etiquette in the circle of world history

Respect for the past - that's the line

distinguished education

from wildness

A.S. Pushkin

2.1 Antiquity

The conversation about the stages of development and formation of etiquette should begin from the era of antiquity - it is to this period that the beginning of teaching people the skills of "beautiful" behavior belongs. The most beautiful behavior at that time practically coincided with the virtues of ancient man, his ideas about morality and citizenship. The basis of this behavior was a combination of the perfection of bodily constitution and spiritual and moral warehouse, beauty and strength, justice and chastity, courage and reasonableness. The ancient Greeks and Romans did not have an opposition between the external and the internal, and therefore, formally, behavioral norms had not yet been formed, but only in the most general form oriented a person towards the manifestation of his personal virtues. In addition, it was not the external design of the act, not its form, but its meaning, content that was considered important. The philosopher Thales said: "One must not be handsome in appearance, but good with a temper." But at the same time, the idea of courtesy, the moral prototype of what we call manners, is being formed. According to Aristotle's concept, courtesy can be of three types: “The first kind is in address: for example, in how they address everyone they meet and greet them by stretching out their hand. The second is when they come to the aid of anyone in need. And finally, the third kind of courtesy is when they are hospitable feasters.

2.2 Medieval era

The emergence of etiquette, as an established normative and fairly formalized system, should be attributed to the Middle Ages. A feature of this stage of culture, which entailed significant changes in people's behavior, was that the culture of that time assumed a good material basis for the life of the ruling class, the wealth and luxury of an idle court. It is no coincidence that the very term "etiquette", which arose in this era, at the court of the French king Louis X IV , meant a strictly established order of behavior at the court of the monarch. The use of etiquette was limited to a narrow circle of people belonging to the upper class of society, and did not go beyond this class. It is important that at that time etiquette set not only the standards and canons of behavior, but also the standards of the entire lifestyle of the nobility, which contributed to excessive formalization, complexity and even confusion of the rules of etiquette. This formalization was one of the prerequisites for the appearance of the first manuals on the rules of good manners: P. Alfonso "The Discipline of Clericalis" 1204, Baltazar de Castiglione "The Courtier" 1517, Giovanni Dela Casa "Galateo or the Book of Good Manners" 1558. etc.

2.3 Modern era

The 17th century, marked by the first revolutions on a European scale, opened the New Age, which continued, accompanied by a whole strip of bourgeois revolutions, until the beginning of the 20th century.

The originality and problems of the era could not but affect the content and, especially, the functioning and development of etiquette, which was sensitive to all socio-cultural changes.

The 17th century in European culture is considered to be the century of strict rationalism, which had roots in economic, technical and scientific activity era. At this time, scientific knowledge becomes the dominant form in the public consciousness.

A peculiar natural-scientific point of view on the field of social and cultural life of society, for all its limitations and straightforwardness, nevertheless made it possible to come to curious and important provisions. Thus, the ideas of movement, endless transformations and the diversity of being, developed at that time in physics, in relation to etiquette, led to the actual recognition of the non-dogmatism, variability, and mobility of the requirements contained in it.

The rationalism prevailing at that time and the natural-science analysis of reality contributed to the fact that in the knowledge itself an emphasis was placed on its manufacturability. In this regard, etiquette began to be regarded as a special toolkit that allows you to restrain human feelings that are inappropriate in society. So R. Descartes considered one of the main tasks of education - teaching a person how to restrain feelings and get the maximum effect with a minimum expenditure of strength.

The English philosopher J. Locke argued that an educated person must first of all possess: virtue, wisdom, good manners and knowledge. “Teach the gentleman to master his inclinations and to subdue his inclinations to reason. If this is achieved and, through constant practice, has become a habit, then the most difficult part of the task is completed.

2.4. History of etiquette in Russia

In Russia, which did not survive the classical European Middle Ages, the culture of etiquette spread much later than in Western Europe, in the first half of the 18th century.

But the forms of regulation that preceded etiquette, reinforced by the customs and norms of Orthodox morality, were quite widely represented among the upper strata of Russia in the 16th-17th centuries. A convincing example of this is Domostroy, a set of rules of conduct that received its finished form by the middle of the 16th century. This code of conduct was a “rite of all what to do and how to live”, established a strict hierarchy in relations between people and required the exact observance of certain cycles in the organization of life processes of both a family, an estate, and a city, state. Domostroy covered almost all aspects of the life of landowners and peasants. It contained instructions on raising children, housekeeping, cooking, receiving guests, wedding rituals, and trade.

2.4.2 Russia during the reforms of Peter 1

The way of life of the Russian nobility began to change rapidly in the turbulent era of Peter I , with which the main points in the formation of secular etiquette in Russia are connected.

Having set as his task the Europeanization of the life of Russia, Peter I began to introduce various innovations on an unprecedented scale into the daily life and life of the Russian nobility. He pursued three main goals: introducing a Russian woman to public life, following the example Western countries; accustoming the upper classes of Russian society to the forms of treatment adopted in Europe; the fusion of different classes and their mixing with foreigners; As you know, the last goal was not achieved - Russian ladies stubbornly chose only compatriots as their gentlemen, but the other two were largely realized.

The reforms carried out by Peter I had a significant impact on the life of the nobility. Young people - the offspring of nobles, senior officials and officers - got the opportunity to study at higher educational institutions, where they mastered secular decency, learned dancing, fencing, the art of eloquence, dancing. The training was largely based on special manuals telling how to behave in society.

The leading place among them belongs to the book "Youth's Honest Mirror or Indications for Worldly Behavior". This book was first printed on February 4, 1717 and then reprinted 3 more times. It was intended for the nobility and is interesting in that the norms of behavior borrowed from European life in it were adapted to domestic reality:

· “The lad should be very courteous and polite, both in words and in deeds: he is not impudent and not pugnacious at hand. Also, having met a friend, he should take off his hat in a pleasant way in three steps, and not by passing by and looking back to greet him. For to be polite in words, and to hold a hat in your hands is inexcessive, and worthy of praise. And it is better when they say about someone: he is polite, humble and well done than when they say about whom he is an arrogant blockhead.

· “Young youths should always speak among themselves in foreign languages, so that they can get used to it: and especially when something secret happens to them, so that servants and maids cannot find out and so that they can be recognized from other ignorant fools.”

Another interesting feature of this book was that its last chapters were devoted to girls who were supposed to have much more virtues than young men: humility, diligence, mercy, modesty, frugality, fidelity, cleanliness, and so on. The ability to blush was especially valued among girls, which was considered a sign of moral purity and humility.

Social and economic reforms of Peter I played a positive role in the development of culture by destroying the reclusive way of life characteristic of the pre-Petrine era. The circle of communication has increased, and communication itself, including men and women, has become more liberated. Etiquette acquired a truly secular character, in many respects contrary to the moral norms of the Orthodox Church. The attitude towards beauty has changed, the value of external beauty has been recognized, and the idea that beauty should be open in order to bring joy and pleasure.

In the post-Petrine era, when Russian state and its leading class - the nobility - were already quite strong, when the boyar morals were overcome, a period of relatively calm, measured life of the nobility built in the Western manner was established in Russia. Pomp, luxury, class isolation, the predominance of the playful, formal side of etiquette over its moral content - all these are signs of noble etiquette of the 18th century. The imperial court became the legislator of luxury and splendor. Peter I did not have his own court, since he appropriated the funds that were intended for the maintenance of the sovereign for the general needs of the state. After his death, everything changed radically - the abundance and luxury of the Russian court amazed even the French. In order to be in good standing at the royal court, it was necessary to spend considerable money on outfits and jewelry, otherwise one could get lost in the motley gilded crowd that filled the palace apartments.

The cultural identity of the Russian secular life was lost for a long time and only to XIX century managed to bring up the type of intellectual, combining the features of the best examples of the era of antiquity with subsequent education.

An intellectual is an educated, enlightened person, carrying the best, progressive features of his era, filled with the ideals and values of the Enlightenment. It is no coincidence that this layer of people in Russia received another name - "enlightened reader". A book in Russia at that time was often likened to an icon, reflecting spiritual authority and spiritual guidance. Reading was not just an intellectual activity, it was a kind of moral obligation and at the same time a moral merit. Therefore, it is quite natural that an intellectual - a person with a book, a person who reads it, and even more so who writes it - has become a spiritual guide and authority. And the culture of speech, which was developed as a result of constant communication with the book, has become a hallmark of an intelligent person.

The intellectual was the embodiment of ideology, spirituality, continuous self-improvement, personal moral responsibility to society for their actions and deeds, which, at the same time, should have been distinguished by subtlety and delicacy.

Among the intelligentsia, their own canons of decent and dignified behavior were developed. The etiquette code of the intellectual included an underestimated attention to everything external, superficial: interiors, luxury clothes, various etiquette attributes. Democracy, discreetness, ignoring expensive jewelry, the obligatory presence of at least a small library created the lifestyle of an intellectual. For him, the main thing was not the external impression he made in society, not the manners in themselves, although they were always given their due, but the moral, spiritual personal beginning. Kant's slogan: "Have the courage to use your own reason!" - becomes very popular among the Russian intelligentsia. In this orientation of consciousness and morals to rationality, morality, democracy and service to the Fatherland, the continuity of the Russian intellectual X I 10th century with the best features of the personal model of the era of antiquity.

Topic 3. Basic principles of etiquette

It is not enough to acquire wisdom,

you need to know how to use it Cicero.

Etiquette is historically changeable, that is, meeting the requirements of the time, it can change some of its postulates, but some rules, traditions remain constant for centuries. Thus, we can say that etiquette consists of two parts: unchanged and constantly changing, increasing the number of principles of politeness. The more and longer humanity develops, the more rules of etiquette it creates. And today, so many rules of etiquette, rules of communication and just norms of politeness have accumulated that it has become almost impossible to learn them all, and this is not necessary, the main thing is to understand the very spirit of etiquette, its meaning. We can say that the spirit of etiquette comes down to its basic principles. A person who has mastered the principles of etiquette will be able to feel quite comfortable in almost any communication situation, because, having mastered the meaning of etiquette, you no longer need to be afraid that some rules have slipped away, some have been forgotten, and for some situations the rules are not invented at all. In difficult situations, knowledge of the essence and principles of etiquette, the desire to look well-mannered and a certain inner flair should help.

There are several principles of etiquette. It is on them that the behavior of a truly educated person should be built: the principle of humanism and humanity, the principle of the expediency of actions, the aesthetic appeal of behavior and folk traditions. Traditions need to be given special attention, because. it is they who form the foundations of behavior, which then, passing through the filter of history and culture, form the foundations of truly etiquette behavior.

1st principle of etiquette : The principle of humanism and humanity - puts forward a number of moral requirements for the process of communication - this is politeness, tact, modesty and accuracy. Politeness is a fairly broad concept. There are several shades of politeness.

We will give definitions of the moral requirements for the process of communication:

Tact- this is the ability not to put the interlocutor in an unpleasant position. The ability to smooth out awkward situations; Tact is a sense of proportion that should be observed in relations with others;

Modestyis the ability to compare self-esteem with the opinions of others. The ability, realizing one's own merits, not to advertise them. It suggests a lack of theatricality and posturing;

Accuracy- this is the ability to value your word and fulfill what is promised on time;

Let's define shades courtesy:

Correctness - this is a somewhat emphasized, dry politeness, usually used in an official setting;

Courtesy - this is politeness, which takes into account any features of the interlocutor. Usually, this is politeness shown in relation to elders, taking into account the age of the interlocutor;

Scheme 2. The principle of humanism and humanity

Accuracy

Politeness

Tact

Modesty

1. Correctness

2. Courtesy

3. courtesy

4. Delicacy

courtesy - this is politeness, in which the desire to be pleasant and useful to others is clearly traced;

Delicacy - this is politeness, shown with special softness, subtlety and sensitivity;

2nd principle of etiquette : The principle of expediency of actions - speaks of those situations for which there are no specific rules of behavior, and in these situations one should be guided by convenience, but it should be convenient not only for you, but also for those around you, even those around you in the first place.

3rd principle of etiquette : Principle of aesthetic appeal of behavior - presupposes the unity of the form and content of the act. Even a good attitude towards people should be beautifully framed. To shake hands, to bow affably, to let a person through the door, to hand over a dropped thing - you need to be able to do all this ... This skill is achieved by constant training. This skill is best developed in childhood, but it is never too late to start.

4th principle of etiquette : The principle of folk traditions. This principle underlies the norms and rules, which are difficult to explain from the standpoint of the already named principles. Some norms arose so long ago that they have already lost their original meaning, and it is difficult for a modern person to explain them from the point of view of practical usefulness and the moral foundations of etiquette. This, for example, is the tradition of shaking hands when meeting, and many other traditions rooted in ancient times.

Topic 4. Culture of speech

educate in it self-respect F. Chesterfield.

4.1 Culture of speech - historical and modern aspect s

The culture of speech is, first of all, its grammatical correctness. With regard to oral speech, the largest number of errors that create a negative background in a conversation and distract from the essence of what was said are the so-called orthoepic errors. Orthoepy - a field of knowledge responsible for pronunciation, stress and grammatical forms of words.

Speaking about the culture of speech, it is necessary to introduce the concept rhetoric - a field of knowledge responsible for the correct construction and use of speech. Plato considered rhetoric the art of persuasion. In the Middle Ages, it was considered the art of speaking beautifully, and in the Renaissance it was called the art of decorating speech. Everyone was right.

The rules for conducting a conversation trace their history back to Ancient Greece: the ability to restrain emotions, the ability not to interrupt the speech of another (the Greeks favorably differed from the Romans in this way), and not to discuss those who were absent. Our culture is characterized by the “Instruction of Vladimir Monomakh” (1117), where, in particular, it was said: “be silent with the elders, stay in love with the younger and equal, listen to the wise.” And a later monument of secular culture, “An honest mirror of youth or indications for worldly behavior” (1717) teaches us things that are relevant to this day: “what things are vile in conversation: wrinkle your nose, open your mouth, scratch your head, grimaces build, interrupt the speech. From the 18th century, the concept of secular conversation has also come down to us - this is a light, shallow conversation that does not affect politics and personality.

Situations of interpersonal communication are quite multifaceted - so, even people who are in different parts of the same space, each of which is engaged in his own business, undoubtedly take into account the presence of each other, that is, they enter into communication. But this topic will consider communication, in which at least one of the partners consciously tries to create conditions for successful interaction and transmits any information. At the same time, the interlocutors use a number of means that are most general view can be divided into two categories: verbal and non-verbal . In the first category - verbal means of communication - includes everything related to speech, that is, how and what people say to each other. In the second - non-verbal means of communication - facial expressions, gestures, postures, attitudes and organization of the communication space.

In the process of speaking, literally everything is important: how the interlocutor is addressed, what is said first and what then, whether the words correspond to the tone of the statements, etc. After all, it is no secret to anyone that we often want to say one thing, but without realizing it, we say something else, or we don’t find words at all to express some important thought or feeling. Thus, it is possible to distinguish two tasks of communication: the transfer of feelings and the transfer of thoughts.

4.2 Basic speech constructions

We can say that a significant part of our speech is not impromptu - a significant number of communication situations are quite carefully developed from the point of view of the ritual, i.e. in certain situations, you should use some pre-known speech constructions: greeting, address, compliment, introduction, congratulations, wish, apology. And each such design is subject to certain rules, without knowing which it is difficult to create a favorable impression of yourself.

When we appear in a new society, people first of all pay attention to our appearance, and then to how we speak, and, first of all, how we address people. But before you turn to a person, you need to greet him.

Greetings. The forms of greeting are different: these are gestures, postures, and salutatory words.

The ancient Romans greeted each other with the phrase: “Are you sweating well?”, the ancient Chinese: “Have you eaten today?”, the Mongols: “Are your cattle healthy?”, the Persians: “Be merry!”.

In Russian, various forms of greeting are associated with a wish for good, health and well-being to a person.

Etiquette rules recommend: when meeting a friend several times a day, you can use all polite forms of greeting, or if all of them have already been exhausted, you can just smile and politely nod your head, but some kind of greeting is still necessary. Cervantes said: "In terms of courtesy, it is better to oversalt than undersalt."

The first to say hello should, depending on the situation, be a man, younger in age, or younger in position. The first to greet the one who enters the room, the one who overtakes the walking one, the guests first greet the hosts, and then the rest of the guests. But, in general, the one who is better brought up is the first to greet, but the woman is the first to give the man a hand.

It is believed that when two couples meet, first the men should greet the women, then the women should greet each other, and only then the men can say hello, but, of course, in an informal setting, a general greeting is enough.

You should also greet the person your companion greets, even if you don't know them. And the person who greeted you, but seems unfamiliar to you, maybe you just didn’t recognize him. A greeting should also begin any necessary question, no matter who it is addressed to.

Appeals. The original Russian appeal to "you" with everyone. Referring to "you" to one person emphasizes the respect that we have for this person: "you alone are worth many." You can turn to "you" to a friend in an informal setting; in friendly, intimate relationships; to a much younger age. It is completely indecent to turn to “you” to a junior in position, especially if he refers to “you”.

You need to turn to "you" to an unfamiliar; to a friend in a formal setting; to senior, equal and junior in position; to the older one. The appeal to "You" is called official, to "You" unofficial.

Appeals in form can be classified into personal and impersonal. In cases where you know the name of a person, personal appeals are preferred. Impersonal appeals are possible: sorry, sorry (I don’t apologize), please, etc. An impersonal address is acceptable to strangers: a young man, a girl, a citizen, a master, a lady. Less accustomed, but acceptable: sir, madam.

DO NOT use as appeals: man, woman, grandmother, grandfather, mother, father, etc.

Compliment- a good start for a conversation, but it’s worth remembering a few rules: you don’t need to compliment things (only stipulating that they suit this person), you don’t need to use constructions: “You look great today”, compliments should be simple and natural when you hear a compliment, you can say "thank you".

Representation. The general rule of introduction is to introduce the younger to the elder, and the man to the woman. When introducing someone to a woman or a senior, you should use the construction: "Let me introduce you ...". Introducing a woman, usually only name is given. When introducing a high-ranking person, you can not name him, so in the case of introducing a new employee to the director, the appeal may be: “Mr. Director, let me introduce ...” When introducing someone in an official setting, you should name the position.

Congratulations and best wishes. Of course, your personal creativity, but pay attention: the tone is very important: it must be sincere and warm. In a work team or among friends, one should not speak in clichés and try to say something special to everyone; Possible wishes in verse. When congratulating a woman or a senior in age / position, you need to use the construction: “Let me congratulate you ...”

Of course, if you want to impress a cultured person, you need to pay attention to your vocabulary. Your language must be literary, i.e. normalized, the words in which are selected and are included in all dictionaries. The literary language should not include: jargon, dialect, vernacular and vulgarisms. It is absolutely unacceptable to use profanity.

Dialect- a feature of the colloquial speech of people united on a territorial basis (upper Volga - “a-kaet”, the rest “o-kaet”, soft Little Russian and Ukrainian consonants). The dialect, of course, is not a national flavor, but a defect in speech culture.

Jargon - speech constructions of individual groups of people, united by social characteristics, artificially created for linguistic isolation. It can be distinguished: clerical jargon (hence, thus), police jargon (homeless, wasp at eager, excited at zhdeno), miner's jargon (on the mountains but ), the most famous - thieves, and youth (laces in a glass). Many slang words have firmly entered our everyday life, but we do not even always know their true meaning.

Vulgarisms- muzzle, snout, eat, stab, head - vulgar, rude forms that have commonly used analogues in the language of a cultured person.

vernacular- rough, simplified words, their inconsistency with the literary language is associated primarily with spelling errors: engineer but , means but , contract but …

It is absolutely necessary for a cultured person to get rid of all this, because. flaunting rudeness in language not only shocks and hurts the ears of others, but also testifies to your mental inferiority, and Pushkin used the terms “servility”, “servility” about this.

Topic 5. Culture of communication

Your opinion is deeply hostile to me,

but I'm ready to sacrifice my life

for your right to speak

Voltaire.

5.1 General issues of interpersonal communication

According to common features, communication can be divided into several types: business communication, educational influence, diagnostic conversation and dyadic, intimate-personal communication.

Business conversation - these are situations when the goal of interaction is to reach some kind of clear agreement or agreement. Most often, such interaction occurs between people who are not in close interpersonal relationships with each other, and the status of each of the partners in relation to the other is clearly defined. There are generally accepted norms and ideas that characterize what each of the partners can demand and expect from the other, and the violation of these rules will be considered as something unusual and, most likely, interfering with communication. In such situations, the subject and the occasion that led to communication are important; without it, a business conversation cannot take place at all.

Educational Communication - situations in which one of the participants purposefully influences the other, quite clearly imagining the desired result, that is, knowing what he wants to convince the interlocutor, what he wants to teach him. Usually such situations occur when one of the partners (the educator) has more authority and knowledge than the other (the educator), or, what makes such situations especially difficult, the educator has to achieve the necessary authority in the eyes of the other in the course of the exposure itself.

Intimate-personal communication - in many ways unique and specific. It is possible only when the partners within the situation that has arisen feel on an equal footing, are equally interested in establishing and maintaining a trusting and deep contact. Such communication occurs between close people and is largely the result of previous relationships.

5.1.1 Levels of communication

In psychology, there are five levels of communication:

- ritual(greeting, farewell)

- informational (ability to speak and understand what is being said)

- debatable(ability to defend one's point of view)

- business(communication to reach a certain agreement

- confessional(communication at the level of expression of emotions);

In addition, communication can be divided into formal and informal, of course, any division of communication into types and levels is rather arbitrary, since communication that actually exists is usually a mixture of styles and types, but it is necessary to distinguish between them, first of all, in order to to organize communication according to status differences, situation and many other parameters. After all, if, turning to a stranger in the subway, you conduct a conversation at a confessional level (“Probably you were a lot nervous today and didn’t get enough sleep” or “I am disappointed in life”), you will not only not find mutual understanding, but will also shock your involuntary interlocutor, since for communication in a fairly formalized setting and with unfamiliar people, a ritual level of communication is acceptable.

In the process of communication, interlocutors build communication in accordance with the system of norms proposed to them by society. Thus, we can say that for our own good, society in a certain way limits our communication, invites us to act within certain limits - the limits of decency. The purpose of such a restriction is to maintain a good mood and favorable relations between the interlocutors. Formal communication - communication subject to certain restrictions. It is impossible to single out formal or informal communication in its pure form. In any case, we use some rules, and, accordingly, communication will be more or less formal.

5.1.2 Culture of diagnostic conversation

A diagnostic conversation (the most common type of communication) is characterized, first of all, by such interaction of the interlocutors, when each of them is in the field of view of the other, and therefore any reaction - posture, look, gesture can be easily noticed and taken into account by the interlocutor. This has its positive and negative sides. On the one hand, close observation of a partner provides a wealth of information about him, the use of which can contribute to an easier establishment of mutual understanding. But on the other hand, with such close contact, you can inadvertently show some feeling or attitude that you really would like to hide, and this can cause tension in communication.

In a situation of a group discussion, in a public speech, the success of interaction does not depend so much on how both parties are set up to interact with each other, as in the case of diagnostic communication. In a large audience, there is always a chance that some group of people will be ready to listen to information that is not very interesting or familiar, while with a minimum number of interlocutors, their views and tastes should be taken into account as accurately as possible, otherwise communication may not work out. That is why in situations of diagnostic communication, the manifestation of mutual interest, friendliness and trust is especially important.

As already mentioned, an important feature of diagnostic communication is that both interlocutors take turns listening and speaking, so any pause or any speech should not be too long, otherwise they may interfere with the conversation. Each of the partners has its own time limit. And if one of them talks too long and too much, interest in what he says most often weakens. In the same way, the passivity and silence of the partner cannot contribute to the success of the conversation.

The specificity of diagnostic communication is closely related to the fact that its nature is largely determined by the formal roles in which the interlocutors are. Although the number of participants in such a conversation is minimal, it is here that normative prescriptions and stereotypes often have a particularly harsh character.

· the place and time of the conversation should correspond as much as possible to its goals and nature.

· in places of conversation there should be nothing bright and unexpected, if it is necessary for the interlocutor to listen with interest and close attention.

· the more personal the conversation is, the more you have to take into account the wishes of all parties.

· if the space where the conversation takes place is too large, then the interlocutors should sit somewhere in the corner to create the illusion of their own space.

· the physical distance between the speakers should be taken into account, as it is a kind of indicator of the progress of the conversation.

A good conversation is a kind of literary work with its own introduction, main narrative, often containing intrigue with a plot and denouement, and a conclusion.

When conducting a conversation, it is necessary, first of all, to take into account two points: 1) mutual respect of interlocutors; 2) the ability to listen and hear;

It is generally accepted that the partner hears about 70% of the speech of the interlocutor, understands about 60%, and assimilates about 20%. Thus, the ability to hear is the most important non-verbal component of the communication process. When a person carefully listens to another person, then everything in him - eyes, posture, facial expressions - is turned to the speaker, which in turn has a positive effect on the interlocutor, helping him to fully open up and better formulate his thoughts. Absent-mindedness, indifference, indifferent facial expression, as a rule, lead to the opposite result. But, of course, there is a great influence here, the time and duration of the conversation.

Listening is a process that requires certain skills, upbringing and general culture. The first thing you need to pay attention to is physical concentration. It is best to listen actively, ie. to fix something - it helps to concentrate better, and, of course, not to interrupt the interlocutor.

When conducting a conversation, you need to remember that each of the speakers is responsible not only for his monologue, but also for the dialogue in general.

Lord F. Chesterfield (1694-1773) gave his son recommendations regarding the conduct of the conversation, which can be adopted even now:

· “Speak often, but never speak for a long time - even if what you say is not liked, at least you will not tire your listeners.

· Never prove your opinion loudly and with fervor - express it modestly and calmly, for this the only way to convince.

· Express your views not too confidently, but treat others with respect. This does not mean that I am going to recommend to you the tedious gentleness of suave fools. No, know how to defend your opinion, object to the opinions of others if they are incorrect, but so that your appearance, mannerisms, expressions, tone are soft and courteous, and that this is done by itself, naturally, and not on purpose.

5.1.3 Dialogue rules

1) The basic rule of communication has been known since ancient times in various cultures: main man in the world - the one who is in front of you. If an interlocutor appeared before you, then only you two should remain in the world for you - he and you, and HE is in the center.

2) Try to make the interlocutor like you. A person can be ill-mannered, inattentive, stupid and aggressive, but the less it annoys and offends you, the more talented you are as an interlocutor.

3) Look for what brings you closer to the interlocutor. Style, manner of communication - the more similarities you have with the interlocutor, the better. Opinions, values, attitudes - the less disagreements are found, the better, do not be hypocritical, but you can and should wean yourself from the habit of contradicting for any reason. On the contrary, learn to find something that can bring you closer to the interlocutor.

4) Each of us has our own music. Its melody and tone change depending on the situation. And if, without hearing the melody of the interlocutor, you lead your own, you will get a cacophony. Dialogue will not take place. Therefore, try to understand what worries your interlocutor. What excites your interlocutor should excite you too. You need to understand and share his experiences. If his emotions and attitudes are categorically unacceptable for you, anyway, first become his “sympathizer” and only then try to tune the interlocutor to the wave you need. He is sad in vain and senselessly - mourn with him, and then gently push him to a different mood. A person is indignant for no reason - share his indignation (you understand him - you are with him), and then try to reorient him to a more tolerant and wiser perception of what revolts him.

5) In conversation, try not to escalate tension. Look at the coloring of each word and all dirty, poisonous, fighting, dirty - throw it away. One dirty word drags its company along. Try not to speak badly of anyone. Incorrect, angry and aggressive statements, even if not directed at the interlocutor, still create tension.

Try, from the position of a person who owns a culture of speech, to remake the phrases: “He is to blame” (There was a misunderstanding.); "This man is a bastard!" (Badly acted.) "It's impossible" (Not easy).

And in general, make sure that the conversation was correct and respectful tone. Try not to blame, especially when using impersonal forms: "everyone, no one, never, always, nowhere." Try to be more specific and at the same time more accurate: “who and when”. However, certainty should not be confused with categoricalness, which is often very vague in content. For example: the magnificent phrase "some kind of nonsense." “Nonsense” and it’s not clear what kind: “some kind”. Then, it is not clear, all of the above is nonsense or partially? And if partially, then what part is nonsense, and what is not. You see, everything is very vague, but we have already managed to be rude.

6) Do you like communication in which the interlocutor constantly climbs on a pedestal, and pushes you into a dirty puddle? Anyone who tries to demonstrate his superiority in communication does essentially the same thing. To prevent this from happening, build communication on an equal footing, and not from a position of superiority. But here we must make a reservation that this way of communication is not suitable in relationships with superiors and subordinates.

In a conversation, also try not to hurt what is dear to the interlocutor: people of his circle, his hobbies, ideals, values, national dignity of the interlocutor. You should be more careful in your statements about the profession, tastes, passions in the field of music, art and hobbies.

Even in a minimally tense situation, be extremely attentive to your value judgments, especially negative ones. It’s better, of course, to do without them, but if it doesn’t work out at all, try to speak out in a subjectively soft way: “You know, I don’t really like pop music.” "Empty film. Watching a comedy is a waste of time! (I don't really like comedies.) "Strange eccentric person." (This person is incomprehensible to me). In the last design, it is clear that he is not so objective, in fact, but I see and feel him like that, leaving everyone else the opportunity to see him differently.

7) Without humor, life is bland and monochromatic. Humor is beautiful, but not so harmless, especially from the lips of an insufficiently educated person, humor can be different. There is abstract humor about life: it is fun for everyone and no one is offended. There is self-directed humor: “I am funny” is acceptable and good if you are not afraid to be in the role of a jester. There is “we are funny” humor - it is almost always good between friends, but bosses perceive it badly. But one of the most common and at the same time the most dangerous types of humor is humor aimed at the other - "You are funny." It is funny to everyone, except for the one who is laughed at. If he is offended, you can hit him again: “Don’t you understand humor”? If you value your own good mood and those around you, before you make a joke, think about the consequences. It is sometimes pleasant to prick with impunity, but, firstly, this is extremely rare with impunity, and secondly, the higher the cultural level of a person, the less this opportunity inspires him.

8) If you notice the mistake of the interlocutor, maybe you have the tact to keep this discovery to yourself? If you really want to correct it, then do it as tactfully as possible: “Let me correct you, it seems to me that in the literary language it is customary to say kulin but ria".

In general, advice rarely teaches and often angers. Therefore, give them only when you are asked and only those for which you will be grateful.

9) Direct orders should also be used very carefully and moderately in communicating with people. There are very few situations in life when one person has the full right to give any orders to another in an order. In any case, a request or recommendation addressed to the interlocutor, whoever he may be (child, subordinate, patient) will cause less internal resistance than the given order.

10) Also, effective communication can be hindered by the desire of one of the partners to interpret the words of the other. With this interpretation, everyone sees only what he wants to see. Even if the other's thoughts are honored correctly, speaking them out loud is usually perceived as a desire to put pressure on the interlocutor. The careless use of metaphors in speech also often leads to disastrous results. Much of what we say is metaphorical in nature - usually, these expressions are neutral in nature, but if desired, the interlocutor may see something offensive in them. Most often this is the result of suspiciousness and the desire to "cling". A direct question to the interlocutor, clarifying what he really meant, can help in such situations.

Relationship development or problem solving is also rarely facilitated by the desire of the interlocutors to find out who is right and who is wrong, who said what first, or when some event happened. Such a clarification is usually associated not with the desire to find the truth, but with the desire to achieve supremacy and recognition in the eyes of the interlocutor.

5.2 The role of the dispute in the search for truth. constructive persuasion

There is another type of conversation that needs to be discussed separately - this is dispute. To have your own opinion and disagree is your right, the ability to have an independent, dogma-free view is the dignity of a mature person. But the desire to always object and argue is usually a sign of immaturity. Unfortunately, timid, dependent thinking is more common, perfectly combined with a tendency to argue. For some reason, faced with someone else's opinion, we are more likely to rush to object than to understand it. Usually we agree only if we can no longer object. It is typical for a mature, cultured person just the opposite - to object only when it is impossible to agree in any way.

We must strive for agreement, but we must not be afraid of disagreement. Disagreements between people are natural and cannot be a reason for disappointment, dissatisfaction, quarrels, and even more intolerance towards other people's opinions. Life is complicated and there can be many correct answers. We must try to cultivate in ourselves this difficult but necessary quality - tolerance for dissent and dissidents. To do this, pay attention to the following: 1) Don't argue over trifles. If a person is mistaken, but his opinion does not bother anyone, leave him alone. It is his sacred right to have his own opinion and his own point of view. 2) Do not argue with those with whom it is useless to argue (the interlocutor is narrow-minded, but stubborn) and with those who are not going to argue with you. 3) Do not argue with those who are more important to argue than to understand. You say one thing, he proves the opposite, then the roles change. 4) Most importantly, never start an argument if you really want to figure something out, especially with this interlocutor.

It is widely believed that truth is born in a dispute. Yes, it happens, sometimes truth is born in a dispute, but, as a rule, it is born there with such difficulty, and in such torment, that any humane person can only regret it. Arguing (at least in its traditional bickering form) is a pointless and even harmful thing. Because in a dispute you want first of all to win, and not to find the truth, and, accordingly, arouse in the interlocutor a desire to defeat you: to defend your position and overturn yours. The more you put pressure on him, the more he strengthens his opinion. In a dispute, I look for where the interlocutor is wrong, I try to destroy his position, and in a discussion, I look for where our positions coincide, I try to connect the correctness of the interlocutor with my own. Dispute, controversy is a destructive activity. Constructive discussion is creative. An argument is an intellectual fight, and it is as useful as any fight. Therefore, if you love the truth and cherish relationships, do not provoke disputes. How? First, categorical judgments. Avoid being categorical, especially when objecting. Yes, something may seem completely clear to you, but it is unlikely that your rigidity will be more convincing for the interlocutor than the arguments. Constructions are completely unacceptable for a cultured person: "This cannot be, because it can never be." "You're wrong, why is none of your business."

Probably, many had to notice that what you now want to speak out especially harshly, categorically and temperamentally, after some time (when a minute, when an hour, and when several years) becomes no longer

Dispute (controversy)	Constructive discussion (dialogue)
Activities aimed at destroying positions and relationships	Creative activity, helping to find common ground in positions and views, to strengthen or improve relationships
Search for what the interlocutor is wrong	The search for what the interlocutor is right about, the desire to combine what your positions agree with, what you agree with and consider correct in the interlocutor's position, to combine with what you consider undeniably correct in your position.
An attempt to destroy the position of the interlocutor, and not to strengthen one's own.	An attempt to strengthen one's position, but not at the cost of destroying the interlocutor's position, but due to more thoughtful and reasonable arguments.
The desire to win, to triumph over the interlocutor.

so obvious, and even obvious just the opposite. And, remembering his ardor and categoricalness, it becomes funny when sad, and sometimes ashamed. It doesn't even matter if you're right or not. It is important that the interlocutor at the same time feels disrespect for his opinion, and this sets him against you. Make it a rule for yourself not to be harsh. Eliminate harsh value judgments and labels, ridicule and bringing the interlocutor's thoughts to the point of absurdity.

Try to replace such armor-piercing turns: “Obviously, naturally, undoubtedly, certainly, it goes without saying, I am convinced”; “You are a smart person, and you say such things.”

If the interlocutor stubbornly does not understand you, but really wants to explain it to him, we, as a rule, stray into a monologue. But dialogue is much more productive, especially if you know how to use the Socratic method. It lies in the fact that you need to break your thought into small links, and submit each link to the interlocutor in the form of a question, implying a short, simple answer that you could predict in advance. This allows you to keep the attention of the interlocutor, preventing him from being distracted; and if there is a dubious link in your logical chain, you will be able to notice it in time, and, moreover, the interlocutor comes to the truth as if by himself, although with your help.

It must be remembered that the rules of communication technique will be completely useless for you until the fundamental attitudes in your mind change. As long as you are a fighter, you will fight. Until you are a sage, you want to win. And that is why you will always lose in the end.

scheme of persuasion

The purpose of the statement	Construction used
1. Try to find the rational in the position of the interlocutor and bring your positions closer - agree with the reasonable	On many issues, our positions are similar.
2. Try to agree, not to object, at least in the form of a statement	I am ready to agree with you in principle, but I do not understand one detail ...
3. Recognize the possibility of your delusion.	Maybe I'm wrong, but let's discuss.
4. More often be interested in the opinion of the interlocutor.	What do you think?
5. Encourage the interlocutor to make a decision with arguments.	My opinion is based on....

Objection scheme

The purpose of the statement	Construction used
1. Make sure you understand the other person correctly.	If I understood you correctly, then you wanted to say that ....
2. Agree with what you find reasonable.	I agree with a lot of what you said...
3. Express your disagreement tactfully.	But some things are hard for me to agree with...
4. Be sure to justify your position.	My opinion is based on...

5.3 Rules for conducting a telephone conversation

A telephone conversation is a special kind of information transfer - mediated communication.

First of all, the question arises - how long to wait for a response from the subscriber. Etiquette suggests that there should be as many beeps as a person needs to calmly reach the phone from the farthest corner of the apartment (8-9). When answering a home phone, you can use impersonal responses: "ale", "yes"; “Listen to you” - it’s better not to, unless before that you asked to wait a bit. You can not use the construction: "Who is talking?"

The caller must introduce himself, if he did not introduce himself, then you can ask him about it, and if he did not introduce himself after that, then you can stop the conversation.

He ends the conversation and says goodbye first, the one who called, but the elder can interrupt the conversation. If the conversation was interrupted for technical reasons, then the person who called again dials the number.

If you go to visit, then by asking the permission of the hosts, you can give their phone number. If you got a call, then you don’t need to talk for a long time, and the hostess should not leave the room.

If at a party the hostess asks you to pick up the phone, it is best to answer: "The Ivanovs' apartment."

If they called you and made a mistake with the number - “You made a mistake” - do not read the notations and do not give your number, but you can ask which number the subscriber dialed.

You can call home from 9 to 22, if there is no special permission. If you call home on official business, then introduce yourself, apologize and ask to call the person you need.

Physiologists say that the tube, brought to the left ear, allows you to more correctly determine the emotional mood of the interlocutor, because. The left ear is controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for emotions.

5.4 Non-verbal communication. Facial expressions and gestures

Gesticulation should be natural and restrained; a gesture can emphasize the meaning of a spoken phrase. Gesticulation should be involuntary, varied, correspond to the words that it emphasizes, the number and intensity of gestures should correspond to the nature of the speech and the audience. Facial expressions are restrained and friendly. A universal mimic form is a smile, it demonstrates goodwill and readiness for constructive communication.

Gestures for various reasons can be classified into:

1) nervous- to knock, to touch with fingers;

2) bored- prop your head with your hand; unnecessarily tilt the body;

3) closed- inconvenience, distrust: demonstrating the back of the hand to the interlocutor;

4) open- comfort, trust: an open palm facing the interlocutor.

Every day we use dozens of gestures, almost without thinking about their meaning. Meanwhile, in some other state, careless handling of gestures can lead to the most unexpected consequences, because the same gesture in different peoples can have completely different meanings. Thus, the gesture with which a Russian contritely demonstrates a loss or failure is a sign of success or satisfaction for a Croat. Turning the index finger at the temple in Holland means that someone said a very witty thing. Having formed a ring of thumb and forefinger, representatives of many nations tell us that things are okay. And in Japan, this gesture is used when talking about money, in France it means zero, in Greece it serves as a go-ahead sign.

The usual affirmative nod of the head in southern Yugoslavia is a sign of denial. The Germans often raise their eyebrows as a sign of admiration for someone's idea, while in England the same would be regarded as a sign of skepticism.

Topic 6. Aesthetics of clothes

Only a superficial person

don't judge by appearance

O. Wilde.

6.1 The concept of the external appearance of a person.

From the history of etiquette, we know that "one must dress in such a way that they say, not how he is dressed, but what kind of gentleman he is." The ability to dress is only an external attribute of internal culture, but they are still met by clothes, and a cultured person needs to take this into account.

The art of dressing is not fashion, fashion cannot shake the rules of dress - they remain constant despite the passage of time. General provisions these rules are:

· it is better to dress simpler than pretentiously;

· clothing must correspond to: age, place, season and nature of the event;

· the dress must be clean, tidy, ironed, and shoes polished;

· in solemn occasions, it is better to prefer a discreet suit, but all things must be impeccably sewn;

Appearance - the concept is more capacious than appearance, it is a combination of mental warehouse, character traits, upbringing and appearance of a person.

Style- the unity of the main features, distinctive features.

Fashion- offers as priority styles that create an idea of \u200b\u200bbeauty, characteristic of this era.

Thus, we can say that the appearance, and with it the appearance, refracted through the prism of fashion, form the style of this era, which, in turn, affects the appearance and subsequently the appearance. Best of all, these transformations can be traced in the history of the costume. 3. aesthetic- made it possible to change the appearance, i.e. hide certain flaws and emphasize the merits.

6.2 Costume history

The oldest centers of human culture and civilization were Ancient Greece and Rome, where a special idea of human beauty was formed, associated with the idea of harmony, proportionality of the human body, proportionality of the world and man. In ancient Rome, the costume became a symbol of the class division of people. The methods of making clothes remained the same as in Greece, but wearing and draping them became more complicated. The accessory of the women's costume was complex gold jewelry. At that time, women's hairstyles also became much more complicated - they rose high up in the form of a kokoshnik, for which a metal frame had to be used. The fashion for light and reddish hair forced not only to lighten the hair with lime water, but also to use the blond braids of northern slaves. Patricians, in addition to sandals, wore ankle boots and leather shoes.

After the fall of the Roman Empire, the powerful Byzantium continued to exist, which experienced significant influence from Eastern culture. With the strengthening of the role of the church in society, signs of church symbols began to be more and more established in the costume. The Christian church declared the body to be a "vessel of the devil", the source of sin, so the ascetic long, thin body with lowered shoulders and tight chest became the ideal of the beauty of the female figure, the clothes turned into a case that hid the natural forms of the body.

The Byzantine Empire ceased to exist in XV century, but its influence penetrated deeply into the culture of the early Middle Ages. The style of this era reflected the superiority of the spiritual over the physical.

European costume of the early Middle Ages IX-X I centuries had a free silhouette, laconic forms, was made of simple fabrics. Finishing and decorations in the costume were almost never found. However, under the influence of the cult of the beautiful lady and the ideals of chivalry, clothing became more tight-fitting.

V X II-X IV centuries in Western Europe, the Gothic style developed in culture, capturing clothing as well. Its characteristic features are the aspiration upward, the elongation of forms and the widespread use of jewelry. Exorbitant elongation of some parts of clothing has become widespread. Appeared six-meter "devil plumes", double and fake sleeves, reaching to the ground. Symbolic decorations with family coats of arms (ours or ladies of the heart) were very widespread. State verdicts prescribed the wearing of clothes of one color or another for people of various classes (crimson color was the privilege of royal blood).

By the end of XV in. asceticism is being replaced by a life-affirming worldview and the proportions of the costume become more natural, there is a desire to show a beautiful naked body (wide and deep necklines appeared even in men's shirts). A characteristic feature of the Renaissance is the desire for luxury: lace, furs and precious stones were widely used. For the first time they began to use cotton wool to give a figure of stoutness.

In the XVI in. Spain became the trendsetter. Exorbitant pride made the clothes of this period non-functional, the figure was sketchy, the proportions of the body were distorted, but the costume of a noble gentleman became completely different from the clothes of a commoner. The dresses were bulky and rigid, like a sheath, they were entered by stepping over the skirt and then laced up at the back. Huge collars made of lace on a metal frame came into fashion, the head on such a collar rested as if on a dish.

In XVII in. the court of the French king Louis became the trendsetter of European fashion XIV , and the leading style is baroque (a pearl of a bizarre shape, fr.). This style is characterized by extraordinary pomp, decorativeness and theatricality. The costume of men under the influence of the Thirty Years' War resembled a military uniform, however, softened by lace collars and cuffs. The costume was complemented by boots and wide-brimmed hats with ostrich feathers. Women's dresses had voluminous double skirts, trains, deep necklines and short sleeves. Fabrics were used only in bright and light colors. Women's hairstyles made from natural hair had complex curls and curls. Shoes had heels, and red heels were considered a sign of belonging to the upper class.

In the XVIII in. the rococo style appeared (curl, shell, fr.), which was distinguished by grace, sophistication and romanticism, it also received the name gallant style. This style denied the utilitarianism of clothing, and, obeying only aesthetic requirements, acquired theatrical sham features. Wigs, blush, powder become obligatory accessories for both men's and women's toilets. Dresses were worn on a special metal structure forming a basket. Both shoes and dresses were oversaturated with decorations: buckles, embroideries, ribbons, lace, etc. It was at this time that shoes with a high, thin, elegant heel - a stiletto heel - appeared. Hairstyles had enlarged and strange shapes - these were fruit baskets, sailing ships, and flowering flower beds. Hairstyles were quite heavy and the ladies leaned on canes to keep their balance. Such an artistically executed hairstyle was very expensive, and they tried to keep it as long as possible. At night, special sub-occipital pads were used, and a metal mesh was put on the hair to prevent mice from getting in it.

During the period of transition from the feudal system to the bourgeois one, the style of classicism developed. It is characterized by a new appeal to ancient art. Shawls and capes reappeared. Women's clothing consisted of a transparent tunic with a deep neckline and light sandals. And the most noteworthy women of fashion rejected even the lightest shoes and appeared at the balls barefoot. In the 1800s, many fashion victims died of colds.

During the reign of Napoleon I Empire style was formed. This style was dominated by rigor and monumentality. During this period, significant changes in social life led to significant changes in the costume. The costume has become more democratic, and it is no longer possible to understand the class affiliation of a person from it. The coat is put on by both the footman and his master, a single European costume is being formed. But fashion in its true meaning remains the privilege of the propertied classes only.

In the 30s and 40s of the XIX century in Germany, and then in France, a new style developed - romanticism. The ideal of female beauty of this period was a languidly pale, fragile beauty. A voluminous, wide skirt emphasized a thin waist, and a low neckline even exposed the upper part of the arm. The sleeves, inflated at the top, narrowed sharply towards the wrist. Men's costume was dominated by medieval cloaks and pointed shoes. Rubber and leather galoshes were an innovation. Mustaches and beards came into fashion.

Fashion of the 50s of the XIX century. resurrected the splendor and pretentiousness of the aristocratic costume of the past (baroque and rococo). A wide skirt was supported by a frame in the form of a hemisphere - a crinoline made of either whalebone or metal wire. Shoes were made of satin and silk and dyed to match the color of the dress.

In the 1980s in. the silhouette of a woman's dress took on a caricatured shape due to a bustle - a roller stuffed with horsehair and attached at the back along the waist line. In the men's suit, a frock coat came into use, and the tailcoat became an evening dress. It was in the 70s and 80s XIX in. there was a type of English classic suit - a troika.

Significant changes in the costume took place at the end 19th century early XX centuries. The increase in the pace of life, the change in its conditions, the ever-increasing production of ready-made clothes led to a significant democratization of the costume, especially men's; Approximately 89 percent of men in developed countries began to wear mass-produced clothing. This was largely facilitated by the invention of the sewing machine by the engineer Timonnier in 1829.

6.2.1 History of decorative cosmetics and jewelry and modern attitude towards them

The tradition of decorating oneself in accordance with the ideas of beauty existing in a given historical period is very ancient. Initially, makeup and jewelry developed in parallel, sometimes mixing. The most ancient mention of makeup is the tradition of painting your face and body with multi-colored clay. It is interesting that initially this procedure had a pragmatic meaning - in this way people sought to protect their bodies from sunlight and insect bites. The most ancient decoration is also considered tattooing and scarring. It is interesting that the traditions of tattooing were inherent only to African and Asian peoples, while in Europe a tattoo was a sign of belonging to a certain caste, profession and was used extremely rarely. In our time, everything has changed dramatically: African and Asian peoples have cooled off significantly to tattooing, while European peoples, on the contrary, began to use it widely, although, paying tribute to fashion, in this case, young people become its hostages for life - after all, the patterns on the body remain forever.

Scarring is also an ancient decoration, which was supposed to show that its wearer is a man of courage and is not afraid of pain. In addition, African and Asian peoples also disfigured their teeth as decorations (we note that for a European, healthy teeth have always been a matter of pride), and also introduced various objects into the ears, lips and other parts of the body. It is interesting that the tradition of changing the shape of the lips in every possible way and decorating them, for example, with an earring, arose among the African peoples due to the fact that they did not have a tradition of kissing, therefore it is so strange to see how our compatriots, and indeed Europeans in general, adorn themselves in such a way. way, forgetting about national traditions and the meaning of these decorations.

In our understanding, the art of makeup originated in ancient world. Patricians, sometimes using strange improvised means, painted their lips, eyebrows and even hair. Then, after the fall of the Roman Empire, powerful Byzantium continued to exist, which experienced significant influence from the church, which largely prevented further development art of make-up, and only in the 11th century, under the influence of the culture of chivalry, decorative cosmetics revived again, this time in Europe and continued to develop until the present day.

The modern attitude to make-up is little formalized, but still one should distinguish between daytime, evening and business make-up. Day makeup can be brighter than business, and evening makeup is brighter than daytime, but still not vulgar. The rules of good manners recommend: makeup should be, but it should be invisible. Particular attention should be paid to spirits. Evening perfumes should have a sharper smell than daytime ones, but both should not have a suffocating effect. Bernard Shaw said that: "a real lady should not emit any smell." And the book Good Taste says: “In the use of perfume, a kind of skill and subtlety of taste is manifested. The best smell can become unbearable if it is so strong that it is communicated to all things that it touches, and spreads in the air almost to the point of stuffiness ... Not to mention persons with special nervous sensitivity, even persons who are quite strong can hardly endure calmly ten minutes in a room with a lady soaked in perfume, sticking to her hair and everything and following you around for a long time, despite even washing. If you shake hands with such a person, then, perhaps, you decide to burn your gloves. The smell of perfume after application should be subtle, the lightest, so that it can be noticed only when approaching the perfumed person. Of course, the same words can be attributed to men's toilet waters and lotions.

Regarding jewelry, it should be noted that for many centuries only items made from precious metals and stones were used as jewelry, all other jewelry was considered a sign of bad taste, and only in the 20th century, thanks to famous fashion designers, they began to use jewelry. Traditionally, the attitude to jewelry was quite complicated. In the book “An Honest Mirror of Youth...” it was said that a mother with daughters and sisters older than 21 years old observe a difference in clothes, and sisters under 21 years old dress the same. Young girls were also not supposed to wear diamonds and ostrich feathers. The bride even wore family diamonds after the wedding, for an evening ball. Of course, now there is no such strictness in this matter, but it is better for young girls not to wear diamonds, at least during the day. Pearls, turquoise, corals and other semi-precious stones are considered girlish stones. In addition, it must be remembered that the abundance of jewelry is a sign of bad taste. If you pick up jewelry for work, then you need to choose non-massive and non-rattling jewelry so that they do not distract attention.

In the book "Good tone. A collection of rules and advice for all occasions”, published in St. Petersburg in 1885, says: “... putting on jewelry, you should always be consistent with the color of the toilet. Pearls, diamonds and massive gold pieces go with every color. Corals cannot be worn with colored dresses, but they are very beautiful with black, white and gray colors. Amethysts are not put on blue, blue and purple, rubies on red, turquoise on blue or green .... ".

6.3 Fashion and clothing aesthetics. Modern clothing art

The modern attitude to clothing is rather simplified, and boils down mainly to general cultural and hygienic requirements, but there are situations in which the rules are almost of a legislative nature, and violation of them cannot but affect the entire process of communication. Such situations include ceremonial receptions.

Paradoxically, in this topic, the most attention will be paid to men and men's clothing. Historically, etiquette most strictly regulates the behavior of those social groups, which are the most significant in terms of culture. Therefore, male behavior and, in particular, clothing requirements are regulated more strictly than female behavior, which allows more opportunities for individual creativity.

6.3.1 General dress requirements for ceremonial occasions

Women's clothing.

The first essential requirement for women's clothing- this is the presence of tights always, regardless of the weather. It is absolutely unacceptable to appear in society in golfs or heels. It is not recommended to wear transparent things in the daytime if they are not covered from above with a jacket or vest. Also during the day you should not wear shiny things and things with a large neckline. White shoes should also be worn very carefully: they are appropriate for a bride or in the summer. It must also be remembered that there are two types of women's suits: business and weekend. Their difference is that a business suit jacket necessarily implies a blouse, but for a weekend it is not necessary, but, of course, the cut and style of the suit are also important.

Men's clothing.

As mentioned above, men's clothing is more strictly regulated, and therefore it is more appropriate to put forward the requirements for a men's suit, breaking it down into elements.

Jacket requirements. If the jacket is from the "troika", and the "troika" is a suit that implies the presence of a vest with a satin back, then the jacket should not be removed. You can stay in a vest only if it does not contain satin elements. Remaining in a shirt without a vest is possible only if there are no suspenders, which, regardless of the degree of artistry of their execution, is considered a serious violation of good manners. Jackets can be broadly classified into double-breasted and single-breasted jackets. It is important to remember that the bottom button of a single-breasted jacket is not fastened under any circumstances, and when sitting down, you must unbutton the entire jacket. A double-breasted jacket is not worn unbuttoned. The jacket is desirable "English" (with two slots at the back), which, unlike the "European" (without slots) and "American" (with one slot), allows not only to stand beautifully, but also to sit beautifully.

And of course, a jacket is not worn with elements of sportswear: jeans, sneakers, a sports bag, etc. There is also a rule for matching fabric patterns: a embossed shirt can only be worn with a jacket and a plain tie, and vice versa, a embossed jacket requires a embossed tie and a plain shirt.

Shirt requirements. A shirt for a suit is obligatory with a long sleeve, since without it it is impossible to comply with another requirement of etiquette: the cuff of the shirt should look out from under the sleeve of the jacket by 1.5 - 2 cm. A shirt is desirable for a suit, smooth, without embroideries and without pockets. The shirt collar should be 1-1.5 centimeters higher than the jacket collar. It is also important to pay special attention to the condition of the collar of the shirt - this area of the men's suit is called the "style zone" and determines the attitude to other elements of clothing.

The area indicated in the figure is called the style area.

When properly positioned, the shirt collar should peek out

from under the jacket collar no more than 1.5 cm.

Tie requirements. When tying a tie, you need to remember that regardless of the shape of the knot, the long end of the tie should not be visible, and the front end should end in the middle of the belt buckle. The width of the tie should match the width of the lapels of the jacket. Color matching is quite difficult, but you need to remember that a properly selected tie is lighter than a suit and darker than a shirt. It is believed that when choosing a tie, you can check its quality by hanging it on your hand: if the tie drapes freely, then the quality is good.

Pants requirements. Pants from the weekend suit should be without lapels. Lapels, or cuffs can only be on sports trousers. In addition, there are length requirements for trousers: in front they should lie slightly on the boot, and in the back they should reach the heel of the shoe.

Sock requirements. Socks are a transitional element from a suit to shoes and are desirable in terms of colors a tone darker than the suit. It should be remembered that white socks are only allowed with sports shoes or summer suits. In addition, the socks should be long enough so that when you move between the trousers and boots, only the socks are visible.

Boots requirements. Indoor shoes are required with cast or cut-off heels, not flats. Boots are desirable two tones darker than trousers.

There is a rule that if you do not know which shirt, socks and boots to prefer, then choose a white shirt, black socks and black boots.

Category: Essays on a free topic

I often think about the importance of ethics and etiquette in my life. It may seem that in the modern world they have lost their significance. And this is not so: the principles of ethics and the rules of etiquette concern every person.

I understand the difference between etiquette and ethics well. But after all it is a question of my concrete problems concerning the first and second. I will give an example from my own life. Once I was invited to a party by my good friend from a parallel class. Hoping to get into an ordinary party, I put on a sweater, jeans and sneakers. I must say that my friend lives well. When I entered the spacious hall of her elite apartment, I realized my mistake. The guests were quite strictly dressed: the guys in white shirts and ties, the girls in beautiful evening dresses. I did not stay long in this company, and they looked at me like I was a ghost. That's how I had to break the rules of etiquette. Now, going somewhere, I ask what I should expect: a friendly party or a costume ball.

Ethics is the science of the living process of communication, where often no rules can help. Take, for example, a simple situation where it is simply necessary to intervene in a conversation. There are many ways to do this. The most common of them is to ask for forgiveness, and while the interlocutors have not yet come to their senses, ask your question. Unfortunately, I notice a tendency to violate the rules of ethics. I can shout: “Hey, listen!”. I also sometimes interfere with my parents in their conversations, because for some reason I think that my affairs are more important than theirs.

I sincerely believe that the rules of ethics must be observed. Anyone who behaves ethically is a welcome guest. Compliance with the rules of ethics helps where neither reason nor intuition can help. This is a kind of lifeline for someone who risks drowning in conversation, correspondence, or even in life itself. But the lessons of ethics I think are superfluous. And is it really possible to give thirty girls and boys some one and only recipe for all cases?

I solve my own problems with ethics and etiquette on my own. With etiquette it is very simple: I have a book where all the rules of this complex science are set out in great detail. However, no one has yet invited me to a banquet at the embassy or to the presentation of a supernova aircraft. But I solve ethical problems with the help of the best adviser in the world - my mother, and I'm not embarrassed to admit it. My dear mother - this is my world encyclopedia of ethics, where everything is clear, and besides, sincerely, directly and always said with love.

Observance of the rules of proper etiquette and diplomatic etiquette was accepted all over the world. They have been observed for many years, but the rules of proper etiquette and protocol of conduct are now given more importance than ever before.

Proper etiquette and diplomatic skills should be a daily habit for everyone, including children. After all, a person who follows the rules of etiquette not only feels good, but his behavior makes the people around him feel important and respected people.

Did you know that it only takes seven seconds for a person to make an impression during a meeting with someone? Seven seconds is an extremely short amount of time, so first of all you must rely on your etiquette skills, your appearance and laid-back demeanor, then you will earn a point in one blow - the first impression. Is etiquette your daily habit? If not, then you should start getting used to it, because it is never too late to master it.

If you have the skill of communicative communication, then you can easily manipulate people in any situation: whether you are being interviewed, or you are having lunch with your companion, you will always inspire confidence, and your communication with a companion will take place in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. For example, at the dinner table, you will know which fork to use, how to eat bread and where to fit a napkin - in general, you can easily use cutlery. There are many examples of improper behavior at the table, but there is a colorful example from the movie “Pretty Woman”. Remember how Julia Roberts behaved at the table, playing the main character in this film? She didn't know how to use cutlery. She was clearly unsure of herself. She had to look around at the people who were having dinner, looking for clues with her eyes to figure out what to do? You can avoid this situation if you are versed in the rules of proper public etiquette.

Obviously, public etiquette is important in the public regulation of relations, but in business relations he is decisive. To succeed in business, you must adapt to any changing situation and act with confidence. Showing proper etiquette on your part will get you the attention you deserve, and being seen in business means a lot to you! For example, two people are being interviewed to take vacancy to a leadership position in big company. One of the applicants was late for the meeting and was dressed inappropriately. To make matters worse, while talking to the employer, he looked away, avoiding making eye contact with him. But the other applicant came to the meeting at the appointed time and was dressed according to the situation. He also made every effort and zeal during interviews to get approved. Who do you think will be approved for the position of leader? The person who displays proper etiquette will always have the upper hand in such situations!

You see that etiquette is an important part of daily life. A person who shows knowledge of proper etiquette shows respect both for himself and for those around him.

Etiquette in my life. The role of etiquette in modern life. What is family etiquette

Topic 2. Etiquette in the circle of world history

2.1 Antiquity

2.2 Medieval era

2.3 Modern era

2.4. History of etiquette in Russia

In Russia, which did not survive the classical European Middle Ages, the culture of etiquette spread much later than in Western Europe, in the first half of the 18th century.

2.4.2 Russia during the reforms of Peter 1

Topic 3. Basic principles of etiquette

Topic 4. Culture of speech

4.1 Culture of speech - historical and modern aspect s

4.2 Basic speech constructions

Topic 5. Culture of communication

5.1 General issues of interpersonal communication

5.1.1 Levels of communication

5.1.2 Culture of diagnostic conversation

5.1.3 Dialogue rules

5.2 The role of the dispute in the search for truth. constructive persuasion

Objection scheme

5.3 Rules for conducting a telephone conversation

5.4 Non-verbal communication. Facial expressions and gestures

Topic 6. Aesthetics of clothes

6.1 The concept of the external appearance of a person.

6.2 Costume history

6.2.1 History of decorative cosmetics and jewelry and modern attitude towards them

6.3 Fashion and clothing aesthetics. Modern clothing art

6.3.1 General dress requirements for ceremonial occasions

Interesting articles

Interesting articles