Life scenario: how to change it? Writing Your Life Script How to Rewrite Your New Life Script

28.05.2022

Fate, fate, fate, karma... At different times it was called differently, but people always wanted to understand life and understand their destiny. So, they came to different conclusions: from the optimistic “every person gets what he wants in life” to the pessimistic “you can’t run away from fate.”

In psychotherapy there is such a thing as a life script. The script is like a sketch of a future life. Your script was formed in the first five years of life under the influence of your parents and the people who surrounded you.

Do not rush to think that everything has already been decided for you - the script has a dynamically changing content, so it is available for conscious adjustment! Only the carrier of this script can change his script.

Especially for you, we have found 4 tips that will help change your attitude to life and the attitude of life towards you!

Life is a book

There are a large number of theories about what our life path looks like. We offer you one that will become an assistant for you in the process of changing your future and rethinking yourself, your own and your principles. As reflected in almost any book, your life can also be represented as a collection of stories or parts of one big whole. Try to divide your past according to some specific principle into chapters: by age (childhood, school and student years, adolescence), by how you feel (sad, worried, happy), or by relatively significant events: wedding, death of a loved one , admission to the university and others. Imagine all this on a piece of paper, drawing and describing each of the periods.

Key events

Each part of your life can be characterized by some event. At this stage, you should be extremely honest with yourself and choose what really happened to you. This exercise will not only help you understand more clearly the path you have already traveled, but will also give you a description as a person, a professional and your role in society. To do this, describe in detail how you were influenced by the key event of your life or only parts of it, how you felt about yourself and the world around you, what thoughts appeared in your head. We have prepared for you possible options for what you can build on:

life is made up of good and bad things. We may strive to improve it, but it will always be a collection of ups and downs. It is important to remember those moments when you felt happy, and others that left in your soul because of their pain and sadness. Try to describe them according to the following algorithm: what was the event, why did it happen, who took part in it, why were you happy / upset, what did it entail.
since you have now chosen to change your life, remember the events that contributed to this in the past. This will help you get a feel for the way and approach you should be using at the moment.
we could not fail to mention those events that left a big imprint on our entire existence, but at the same time it is rather difficult to attribute them to any of the aforementioned groups. So you can form a new chapter of important and significant ones that you try not to forget and don’t imagine yourself if they hadn’t happened to you.

What's in the future?

The only thing left is to decide for yourself how you want to see your future. To make it easier to put your plan into action, describe both a positive and a negative scenario. Answer questions about who you need to be in order to achieve something that is dangerous for you and worth learning.

Like any book, your life must have a title. Decide for yourself what one word or phrase can describe your existence. You can start from what happens to you most often, and regarding your view of it. Remember that your attitude to things determines their role and character. And with them for the rest of your life.

Is it possible to rewrite the script of life? Few people think about this, and in my opinion, in vain. Today I propose to talk a little about the future that is being created here and now, that is, in the present, and literally at this moment.

Think about how reading this article will affect your life tomorrow or the day after tomorrow? You will say that you don’t know, because you just started reading this article and you don’t know what it is about at all. And I completely agree with you. I suggest you do a little analysis of today, what did you do today - to somehow make your future or tomorrow better?

This is, of course, a rhetorical question, because every second and minute of our present, we are laying the foundation for tomorrow.

And what contributed to the emergence of the present? Naturally, events in the past. That is, it turns out a fairly simple scheme, the past-present-future. And in fact, in order to have such a future as you want, you need to somehow change the present from the past.

Some nonsense turns out, right? But not so easy, I started this conversation.

It is always believed that a person cannot return to his past, reshape and change some events there, which, as it seems to him, had a rather negative impact on his life. That's right, purely technically, of course it can't, for this you need a time machine, and this is pure fantasy.

But let's take a closer look at how our past is catching up with us here and now. Everyone now knows very well that thought is material.

And some thoughts, wishes come true and are realized in our lives, unfortunately some negative things are realized more often.

Because in these wishes or thoughts, a lot of energy, a lot of emotions are laid, a person with all the strength of his soul does not want something, but there is a lot of energy, and it begins to be realized. In principle, this speaks of the negative type of thinking that prevails in a person, I don’t want to talk in detail about the type of thinking now, I have a lot of articles on this topic.

So, back to changing the past. If a person has some kind of life experience, and everyone has it, including positive, when everything works out and everything is fine, and there is also a negative experience, that is, in some way unsuccessful, something did not work out, as you wanted .

And this experience, I mean negative, is used in different ways, someone draws conclusions and acts completely differently than before, but someone steps on the same rake, and more than once.

Sometimes, you just want to scream - can't you see? Don't you notice that you don't have to do this? Have you not yet realized that your reaction or behavior does not lead to the desired goal?

And here, the saddest thing, he does not see, does not notice, does not analyze and does the same. And such reactions do not concern any global events, although this can also be. Basically, this is everyday life full of eternal discontent, when people act and treat undeservedly badly, or even meanly.

This is where the secret of changing your future lies, if you change your reaction to some events now, then the events will change, this will definitely happen, and the results will be noticeable literally immediately.

So what's stopping you from changing your behavior? What prevents you from seeing the light and understanding how to act, how to show yourself?

And here the past comes into play, remember, I said that the present is made up of the past?

Why are you behaving this way and not the other way? And because, that's how life happened, that's how parents taught, there were certain values and beliefs. We act, think and perform some actions according to the program of actions that is embedded in us.

Finally got to the root of the problem... installations and programs about yourself and about your behavior, laid down sometime in your life, affect the here and now, and, accordingly, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.

This is not the first time I have been writing on this topic, and all the time I try to come from different ends in order to convey one simple idea - the past controls your future. And here, no matter what sphere of life you take, everything obeys your programs that are embedded in you.

You can take personal relationships, and the topic of weight loss, and finances, and a career, and the attitude of loved ones towards you. For everything in our life, there is a certain program or setting that dictates our behavior, mostly it happens automatically, not consciously.

Let's say you decide to lose weight, and your mind is completely confident that it will be so. Your high level motivation is the first phase so to speak, you are fully aware of what you want and how you will do it.

And then, after some time, motivation begins to decline, various events occur in life that in some magical way affect you so that you don’t do anything of your plans.

Familiar situation?

This is the second phase - here some automatisms come into play, attitudes to yourself, deeply hidden, which you are not aware of.

Or another common situation - family relationships. Some constant petty scandals or quarrels, constant disappointments or resentment against her husband or some loved one.

At the same time, consciousness is completely focused on some unacceptable behavior of the second half, and all my own claims are completely accepted at the internal level, there is a constant justification, why am I behaving this way?

And as a result, complete confidence that I am white and fluffy, but here he is, the scoundrel, is still the same. And it seems that nothing can be changed, that it is simply unlucky with a husband or wife. It is also such a blindness that does not allow you to see your own programs and settings, which are completely ineffective in those situations that are repeated almost every day.

Until you find these negative attitudes and if you don’t change them, the behavior will not change at all and you will blame everything on those who are nearby, because they are like that. Or the position of a victim who will endure and endure everything that happens to her. And why?

But it’s just more convenient and you don’t need to move, you don’t need to delve into yourself, find some unpleasant discoveries about yourself there, and suddenly, in fact, I’m not as good as I always thought.

These are the reasons, in general, when the future will not be the way you want, because without having worked through the past, or rather, even your own old conclusions to yourself and outdated behavior patterns, the present cannot magically change in any way.

Everyone understands perfectly well that in articles you cannot give a universal solution to a problem, all events in our lives are personalized and unique, and if you are waiting for a ready-made recipe, then it will not be.

And this does not depend on any of my greed to give information. The site has enough techniques and meditations to help you work with many moments of life.

So, in order to improve your life, you also need to know how to improve it, how it will manifest itself, and how you will know about it. It’s also not an easy question, because everyone knows in general terms, but as soon as it touches on the specifics, a stupor sets in and there is complete silence in thoughts.

Why is that? Because there is no such scenario of life, and a person does not even think about how it can be. No script, no events.

The subconscious acts strictly according to the program, and any program is somehow laid down, even if at first a project simply arises. And when there is no drawing of this project, then what to say about the new program.

I can offer you my help in drawing up a “blueprint” or plan for your scenario of behavior by changing old programs.

Very soon I will conduct, to which I recommend that you come and work with scenarios of your own behavior.

What will happen in the master class? And all that you just read about is changing your programs and attitudes, and creating new behaviors.

I can say, quite seriously, it is almost impossible to work with the installations on your own.

Again, why? Because, being in the "here and now" you do not notice any pathology in your behavior, everything is fine with you, this is not normal with others, it is they who do not behave the way you need.

The master class is paid, but the prices were completely cheap, first of all, because I understand that materials of this kind should be available to every person, regardless of income, and secondly, this is my work, and each work must be paid.

Information for those who want to start working on their future and decided to go to a master class:

The master class will be held on May 14-15, this is Wednesday - Thursday, in the evenings, starting at 20:00.

I would like to give you a preparatory task:

Find 4 situations in your life in which the wrong conclusions about yourself were made.

These situations can be quite different, one thing must be present - there you behaved inefficiently. You can take some very emotionally significant situations that you even consider traumatic.

And I recorded a short audio recording, where I talk in detail about the task. Just 3 minutes.

P.S. Next week, on Tuesday, I plan to hold a seminar on the topic: “How you can change the scenario of life” - I can say right away that this is not a substitute for a master class, I will just tell you how events in life can change when you begin to change your past with the help of psychological methods.

An invitation to the seminar will be sent to all subscribers of my site. You can become a subscriber

Please leave your opinion or on the stated topic, what do you think about it.

And also, you can describe what situations in your life you would like to “rewrite”, “redo” - of course, it’s not worth describing in full, but you can write in 2 words, and I will give you feedback - is this possible or not?

It is incredibly easy to fall into the trap of activity, the cycle of affairs and events, spending more and more effort on climbing up the ladder of success - all in order to realize that this ladder was put against the wrong wall.
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Are you sure you are moving in the right direction?

Such situations are not so rare in life: a person strives for success all his life and achieves it, wins victory after victory, gains popularity and even fame, acquires all conceivable and inconceivable property - but at the end of his life he suddenly discovers that for the sake of all these victories he sacrificed something immeasurably more valuable and important. For example, he broke up with his loved ones, ruined relationships with relatives and friends, made his children unhappy, denied himself the pleasure of doing what he loved. And all his victories and successes against this background turn out to be soap bubbles, empty shells that have lost all meaning for him. Those serious losses that he, it turns out, suffered as a price for his success, are in no way justified, and the success itself was not worth these sacrifices.

At the end of life, people of the reactive type come to such bitter insights (“I spent my life on the wrong thing!”) - those who respond to all the circumstances of the outside world with an impulsive, automatic reaction. The one who lives impulsively simply does not see where his path leads. He does not have a plan and strategy, he lives relying on chance, and therefore does not achieve his true, deep goals, desires and needs. And he most often does not think about goals as such, although, of course, he has them, like any normal person.

Let's see what kind of absurdity our life turns into when we live automatically, impulsively, and then we are surprised to find that for some reason our goals do not want to be realized.

Example: Here is a young mother of two adorable preschool children. They, like all normal children, make noise, indulge and do not want to sit still. In response, the mother behaves reactively: she gets irritated, screams, and even cuffs the children on the back of the head, and she does all this with genuine malice. Children cry and in fear try to cover themselves with their hands from their mother's anger.

But if such a mother is asked: how she would like to see herself and her family life in many years, in old age, she will surely imagine an idyllic picture in which she will see herself surrounded by respect and care of loving children and grandchildren.

The question is: does she do anything in her present so that this dream of an idyll in old age can at least come closer to reality? No. Instead, she does exactly the opposite: she creates a gap between herself and the children. If she continues to behave like this, it is not difficult to imagine where this will lead: to the unwillingness of grown children to communicate with her and, as a result, to loneliness in old age, filled with resentment and disappointment.

And after all, it will be too late to fix something, because something very important will be lost irrevocably and forever.

It would seem that it is so simple: if we want to achieve some goal, we must do something for this, pave the way to this goal and steadily approach it.

But for some reason, many people behave as if they believe that the goal must somehow be realized by itself, and while it is being achieved, they will be busy with other things.

But you and I have already understood: we get in life only what we do ourselves, what we come to through our decisions, our own choice and our actions. Nothing arises by itself! And if you have such a dream as a happy old age surrounded by loving children and grandchildren, lay the foundations for it now, for which at least think about whether you give your children enough of the love that you want to receive in return. And if you, bearing in mind such a dream, do nothing for it, but spend all your efforts on making money, giving children cuffs and slaps in between, then don’t be surprised if you get something completely different from what you dreamed about.

A person who is accustomed to automatically respond to reality is likened to someone who cut a path through the jungle for a long time, and then climbed the highest tree and saw that he was moving in the wrong direction.

To prevent this from happening, you first need to make sure that both the jungle and the direction you have chosen are correct.

How to do this in relation to our everyday reality? The easiest way is to imagine where you would like to come to by the end of your life, and most importantly, what you would like to leave behind. And not only in material terms, but most importantly - what mark and what memories would you like to leave about yourself in the souls and hearts of other people. What kind of father or mother, what kind of husband or wife, son or daughter, what kind of friend, what kind of work colleague, professional, what kind of person, what character would you like to stay for them? Which of your deeds and achievements would you like to leave a good memory of?

Most of us don't want to look that far. Thinking about the end is so unpleasant! But it's worth doing it at least once. Not to inject gloomy thoughts about old age and death, but in order to understand where you really would like to come to, what would be the most favorable outcome for you.

This will help you adjust your actions in the present. You will understand what in your behavior corresponds to your ultimate goals, and what contradicts them. And you won’t waste your energy anymore, cutting through the jungle you don’t need.

“By constantly keeping in mind a clear image of your ultimate goal, you will always be aware that everything you do on any particular day does not contradict the criteria that you yourself have identified as the most important for yourself. You can always be sure that every day you live is a meaningful investment in your idea of your life as a whole.
(Stephen Covey. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People)

Laws that must not be broken

You already have your ultimate goal in mind and are thinking about how to align your life with it.

But in order not to make mistakes along the way, you first need to establish an inner contact with the fundamental laws or principles of human existence.

That people's lives are determined by principles is an axiom. Not taking these principles into account or trying to circumvent them is like not taking into account the law of universal gravitation or the fact that after summer comes autumn, and after it winter. In the first case, a person may think that he is able to fly like a bird, and eventually crash. In the second case, a person can plant flowers in late autumn, and then lament that they are frozen.

These examples seem absurd to us - but people now and then break down on the unshakable principles of human existence simply because they do not take them into account.

These are the principles, or laws, that you must not violate on the way to your goal.

The principle of justice. If as a result of your actions someone suffered from injustice, then you will not achieve success.

The principle of honesty. If you are not honest with others or with yourself - do not count on other people's trust and honesty towards you, and also do not hope that you will be able to establish long-term cooperation with them or build favorable relationships.

principle of human dignity. Without recognizing your own dignity or the dignity of other people, it is impossible to be happy and live a fulfilling life.

The principle of duty. It is the duty of every man to do something for the good of mankind. If we do not do this, then we ourselves do not receive any benefits.

development principle. Each person is born with great potential for growth and development, and in the process of life we must grow, develop, revealing our potential more and more. If we do not do this, then we will degenerate.

These principles are an objective reality. They govern human development. Without these principles, we cannot achieve happiness and success.

It is these principles that we must place at the very center of our circle of influence (see Step 1). That is, to make those values that we care about in the first place. And only on the basis of these values can we solve all other problems, form our goals, objectives, our life credo and ways to achieve success.

Landmarks true and false

Why is it so important in any of your business, undertaking, movement towards a goal to proceed precisely from the basic principles of human existence - to put them at the center of your circle of influence, your worries and your very life?

Because only following these principles ensures the satisfaction of the four fundamental needs that exist in every person.

These four main needs - they are also the life support factors that underlie all aspects of human life:

Feeling of safety. Only when we feel safe can we be confident, emotionally stable, feel the significance of our personality and openly express our individuality.

The presence of internal guidelines. Each person needs an "internal compass" - a system of views, guidelines and values that determine the direction of our movement and guide our actions.

Wisdom. A sense of balance and order in your life, arising from life experience, assessments, judgments, understanding the nature of things.

Energy. The presence of forces and opportunities to act, change something in your life, get rid of ineffective behavior patterns and develop effective ones.

If you put the basic principles of human existence at the very center of your circle of influence as fundamental values, only then will all these four “pillars” of your life receive proper reinforcement, which creates a support for your well-being and success.

But in reality, very few people put "at the forefront" of basic universal human values. Much more often we see examples when something else becomes the central values in a person's life. For example: spouse or spouse, family; money, work, possession of some kind of property or status, position in society, power, success; pleasure; friends and enemies; religion and faith; and finally the man himself, his own "I" or "ego".

There is nothing wrong with including family, work, money, success, etc. as values in your circle of influence. But if we put these values in the center, at the forefront, in the place where the basic principles should be - we dig ourselves a hole and make the building of our life very shaky and unbalanced. Because factors such as security, the presence of internal guidelines, wisdom and energy suffer from this.

Here are examples.

If your center is your spouse:

¦ your sense of security depends on his attitude and moods,

¦ your internal guidelines are determined by his desires and needs,

¦ your wisdom is limited by ideas of what is good and what is bad for your spouse,

¦ your energy is spent on what your spouse wants, as well as on conflicts and showdowns.

If your focus is work:

¦ your sense of security is satisfied only when you work,

¦ your internal guidelines are aimed only at the needs of your work,

¦ your wisdom is limited by the scope of your profession,

¦ your energy is manifested only within the framework of your organization.

If your center is money:

¦ your sense of security is completely dependent on your income, which means that you constantly feel vulnerable,

¦ your internal guidelines are aimed only at making money,

¦ your wisdom is limited by a very one-sided perception of the world: you only care about what brings money,

¦ your energy is limited by those goals that can be achieved with the help of money.

If your center is friends:

¦ your sense of security suffers due to the fact that you depend on the opinions of other people,

¦ your internal guidelines are unstable, because they depend on the preferences of other people,

¦ your own wisdom is absent due to the habit of adjusting to other people's assessments and judgments,

¦ your energy is spent on inconsistent actions to please your friends.

If your center is power, success, possession of property:

¦ your security is unreliable, as it depends on your social status and property,

¦ your wisdom is limited by the framework of social and economic relations,

¦ your energy is directed only to the acquisition of material and other benefits.

If your center is religion:

¦ you feel safe only when you belong to a religious community, follow its rules and rituals,

¦ you are guided by how adherents of your faith will appreciate you,

¦ your wisdom suffers from the fact that you do not want to accept truths that go beyond your teaching,

¦ your energy is directed only to participation in the life of your religious organization.

If your center is yourself:

¦ your sense of security is unstable, as it depends on changes in your mood and well-being,

¦ your guidelines are aimed only at achieving your own selfish goals and giving yourself pleasure,

¦ your wisdom is limited, since you perceive only one facet of the world and people: namely, how they affect you and how they treat you,

¦ your energy is limited by the inability to act together with other people in the name of common interests.

A completely different picture arises when we put basic universal principles at the center.

If your focus is principles:

¦ you feel safe, because the principles do not change, do not depend on the behavior of other people and circumstances, you can rely on them,

¦ your internal landmarks are accurate and clear, as you have a good idea of \u200b\u200bwhere you are going and how to get there,

¦ your wisdom is not limited by the ideas and opinions of other people or the framework of circumstances,

¦ your energy flows freely, as you yourself make decisions and choose how to carry them out.

Define your life credo

So, you have an idea about your ultimate goals, about those principles from which you need to “dance” and which are guidelines in your life. Now, based on this, you need to develop your life credo, or, if you like, identify your personal mission in life.

Of course, this is not a one day job. It requires reflection, serious immersion in oneself, the ability for thorough introspection. Perhaps you will return to this work again and again, more than once to revise your life credo or add new details to it. All this should not scare you. Even the very fact that you start this work will have a huge positive impact on you and your life.

There are a few practical tricks that will make things easier for you.

1. Think about the roles you play in life and list them - for example, husband, father, son, brother, friend, businessman, leader, community leader, member of a religious organization, etc. Think about what for you are important in each of these roles. What do you strive for and what values are important to you in relation to these roles. Formulate a goal that is important to you in each of the roles. For example: as a leader, I lead progressive changes that positively affect people's lives; as a friend, I come to the rescue, inspire by my example and show that everything can be overcome; as a husband, I strive for harmony in relationships, love and mutual respect; as a father, I help children develop, teach them to enjoy life and at the same time show wisdom and self-control, etc.

Then you can identify something in common in the goals and values that are important for each role, some of their common direction. For example, it may be the idea of living honestly and at the same time positively influencing the fate of other people. It is quite worthy to become your personal life credo.

2. Ask yourself questions: What is truly important to me? Why do I do what I do? What can and do I want to achieve? What should I change in my actions so that they are not based on the false guidelines of money, service to another person or my ego, pleasures, etc., but on the true guidelines of basic universal human principles? You may not find answers to these questions right away. But in the end, discoveries may await you. For example, you will find out for yourself that instead of chasing short-term profits, you should think about what will bring long-term benefits to people. Or you will understand that raising a child does not mean forcing him to obey by force, but it means cultivating self-esteem in him. Perhaps this will become the basis of your life credo: to love, to develop self-esteem in yourself and to teach this to others.

3. Imagine that you have six months to live. (A softer version for the superstitious: that in six months you will have to retire). How will you live this time? What would you like to get done? What goals and objectives will recede into the background, which ones will come to the fore?

If you imagine that you have to retire - what will you do after that? Maybe you want to start a new career? Or dedicate yourself to something else?

In your mind, your true values \u200b\u200bthat you were not even aware of before may emerge. Inscribe them in your life credo.

The main thing is that your life credo should be exactly yours - not borrowed, not copied from a book. Take enough time to discover it - retire, think, dive inside yourself. Maybe your creed will consist of one phrase, or maybe many phrases, in each of which you will describe your goals and methods of action in different life situations, for example: “I want my home to always have joy, comfort and peace. I will equally distribute my efforts between home and work, so that one is not at the expense of the other. I want to encourage my children's interest in everything new, to strive for them to rejoice and laugh more. I will not be a slave to money, but I will strive for money to serve for the benefit of me and my family. I will get rid of bad habits and find things that will make my life more enjoyable. I will not follow the lead of others, but will begin to determine the course of my life on my own,” etc. In this case, your credo can become something like your personal Constitution - the basic law that determines your life.

“Once you realize your mission, you will have a basis for developing your proactivity. You have a vision and values that guide your life. You have a main direction in accordance with which you set yourself long-term and short-term goals. You have a constitution that is based on right principles and against which you can check every decision you make regarding the most efficient use of your time, your abilities and energy.
(Stephen Covey. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People)

Your life script is first created in your thoughts, and only then - in reality

If we live reactively, then we are controlled by external stimuli, circumstances, other people. Naturally, in such conditions, we cannot build our lives according to our own scenario. We live according to scenarios imposed on us from the outside. Or even without a script at all, following from one impulsive reaction to another. And we can live like this all our lives, coming at the end to bitter disappointments, if we don’t stop in time and take on a thorough revision of the scenario of our life.

If you are already thinking about your life credo, then you have begun to create a new scenario for your life - namely, one that will lead you to your true goals.

According to one of the laws of life, everything that we create, we do twice: first in our thoughts, and only then - in reality. Having defined your ultimate goals (what you would like to achieve at the end of your life), outlining your true center (basic universal principles that you decided to firmly follow) and your life credo, you have done nothing more than create the first mental creation.

Thus, you have answered the question that is the main one for any leader: “What exactly do I want to do?”. This has enabled you to accomplish the most important task: to become a true leader of your own life. A person who is able to rewrite the script of his life in accordance not with someone else's, but with his own ideas about what he needs, what is good for him and what he wants to achieve.

You may find that all your previous scripts were ineffective because they were based on your reactive behavior. Now you will approach all the roles of your life proactively - always keeping in mind your ultimate goals, your values and direction.

Start each day of your life with your new scenarios and true values in mind. This will help you make free choices without reacting to someone else's emotions or circumstances. Only those who focus not on what surrounds them from the outside, but on their own internal values, can become truly proactive.

Summary

Step 2 corresponds to the Second Habit of a Highly Effective Person, which can be called "Start with an end goal." If Step 1 helped you understand that you yourself are the programmer of your life, then Step 2 should teach you how to write a proper program.

Practice

Exercise 1. Return to the True Center

Think about what values are fundamental in your life - what do you put at the forefront, what is your center: basic universal principles (a true guideline) - or the interests of a spouse (spouse), family, money, work, property, success, power , pleasures, friends, enemies, religion, your selfish interests (false reference points)?

You may find not one, but several centers. Think about how they affect your perception of the world (inevitably making it one-sided, limited) and how they affect your decisions, actions, behavior.

Remember how you performed some actions, guided by one of the false guidelines. For example, they sought to satisfy their spouse's needs, possibly to the detriment of their own health, desires and needs. Or they devoted too much time to work, again to the detriment of other interests. Or blindly followed the lead of your friends instead of wondering if you really need it.

Now imagine how you would act in the same situation if the most important thing for you was to remain true to the basic principles.

The principle of justice might stop you from doing something where one wins while the rest (including you or your loved ones) lose.

The principle of honesty I would force you to honestly answer yourself the question: do I really want to do what is required of me? Am I deceiving myself or others?

principle of human dignity I would require you not to do anything that might humiliate you or another.

The principle of duty would make you ask yourself the question: what I'm doing - is it really good for someone, or am I just indulging someone's selfishness, weaknesses and bad habits?

Development principle would not allow you to do anything that could harm the progress, growth, development, and improvement of your own or others.

If you align all your actions with these five fundamental principles, then everything you do will be for the benefit of yourself and others, from which everyone will ultimately benefit.

Exercise 2. Check if your plans are consistent with life principles

Think about what you are planning and going to implement in your life in the near future. Analyze your plans for how they relate to your ultimate goals; whether they are consistent with the five basic principles; do they match your life credo. If necessary, adjust your plans to bring them into line with all of the above principles of mental creation. Write down what results you would like to see and what steps you think you need to take to get there.

Exercise 3: Visualize: Rewrite the Adverse Reaction Program

To follow the new scenarios of your life, you need to be proactive. But this skill requires training, because the first, impulsive, automatic reaction will, especially at first, break out of you against your will.

For example, your credo includes the idea that you will treat your children with love and patience. However, when a child commits some kind of misbehavior, you cannot help but react reactively and are ready to flare up before you pause and make a choice to react differently.

Take at least a little time every day to learn how to overcome obsessive impulsive reactions and cultivate proactivity in yourself. Visualization will help you with this.

Stay alone with yourself, take a comfortable position, calm down, relax. Think about your creed - for example, how pleasant and joyful it would be for you to communicate with your children in a calm, wise, balanced way, without losing your temper, and build relationships with them with love and mutual respect.

Then imagine a situation that most often causes your usual impulsive reaction. For example, some behavior of your children that annoys you and makes you angry. Try to imagine this picture as brightly as possible, in all the details and details.

And then imagine that you are reacting to all this differently than you usually do. If your heart usually begins to pound, your fists clench, you tense up and are ready to burst into an outburst of anger - then now, in your imagination, imagine that none of this exists. Instead, you react differently: with love, patience, self-control, while, if necessary, showing strength of character and firmness - exactly as laid down in your credo. And also imagine your behavior and state as vividly as possible, so that in your imagination you live it as if in reality.

If you do this day by day, then gradually rewrite the program that you have blindly followed before, and write your own script of behavior that is in harmony with your core values and your life credo.

In this way, you can reconsider any unwanted situations in your life. And gradually begin to follow not the scenarios that society, your environment, upbringing or genes imposed on you, but you will live according to your own scenario, based on your own aspirations and ideas about life.

It’s unbearable at work, you come home - a conflict. A continuous obstacle course began. "Black!" you say. Time passes, life begins to improve. "White stripe" - now you think. So it turns out, life is a continuous series of changing bands.

Have you ever wondered from what moment the “black streak” of bad luck begins?

Have you analyzed what was the catalyst that started the chain of unpleasant events? And what determines its duration?

4 years ago in my life there were several events that followed one after another and greatly upset me. Once in the "black band", it was difficult for me to assess the situation from the outside. Pain, anger, resentment - I was haunted by typical signs of the "victim" syndrome. I don’t remember which of the events led me to a conscious look at my life, but one morning I woke up with an urgent need to change myself.

I experienced, on the one hand, relief. I felt it was the right decision. On the other hand, fear of change.

What to change? Where to begin?

Fortunately, I was lucky, and my desire quickly found a response in the outside world. I love to read, so when I went to the book portal, I immediately noticed Stephen Covey's book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", which radically changed my worldview. Now, when a difficult situation arises in my life and there is a need for advice, I buy the first book that catches my eye.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was one of the first books that led me to the realization that I had been dissatisfied with my life for a long time. The coaching approach has become seamlessly integrated into my life. I began to ask myself open-ended questions that required a detailed answer.

I remember the first question I asked myself: “Why are you dissatisfied with your life?”.

I deliberately decided to fix the answers to it on paper so as not to miss important thoughts.

“I’m a loser”, “I envy other people’s success”, “I don’t like to wake up early in the morning”, “I’m tired of people”. Various ugly thoughts arose in my head and were transferred to paper, but in the end I wrote a phrase that resonated with me internally. "It!" my intuition told me. "I hate my job and I'm wasting my life." Again, relief. Suddenly I realized that by changing the sphere of professional activity to a more interesting one, I would fill my life with many events and new acquaintances.

Today, when I work with other people, I go to the very depths to get to the basic statement from which all change begins. One question “why are you unhappy with your life?” not enough. You need to ask yourself a lot of clarifying questions. Thus the “why?” exercise was born.

Exercise Why?

It is extremely rare to immediately identify the root cause of dissatisfaction with your life. Therefore, there can be many questions starting with “why” until you reach the correct answer. Let's look at an example:

Why am I dissatisfied with my life? Because I don't have money.

Why is there no money? Because I'm not lucky.

Why are you unlucky? Because they don't appreciate me.

Why are you not appreciated? Because there are no results.

Why are there no results? Because I don't want to reach them.

Why don't you want to achieve? - I'm tired of my job.

Why tired from work? She no longer brings me joy.

“Work no longer brings joy” is probably the starting point.

I warn you right away, the answers may be unconscious. When the “victim” syndrome turns on, we also begin to blame the world for all the troubles. The main task is to get to the bottom of the matter. When the irritation and the desire to blame others go away, a constructive answer will come.

It is important to focus on inner feelings and get to the root cause of dissatisfaction with your life. All problems are related to four areas of life: family, work, personal life or spiritual sphere. Everyone has different definitions, so you need to choose the statement that finds the maximum internal response.

There is a statement, now an idea is being born for a new life scenario. You are making a plan of what needs to be done in the very near future. I advise you to write at first enlarged, and then move on to the details. I'll tell you about a tricky results planning technique that I borrowed from a colleague. Let's take a look at a specific example.

Enlarged and detailed action plans.

Imagine that globally you need:

Find a new job;
Improve qualifications;
Workout;
Eat properly;
Provide life balance.

You have received a plan with destinations, but the route to them has not yet been laid. And this is just the main reason why what was planned is not being implemented. And now a plan that provides action.

What does it take to find a new job?

A) decide on a professional goal: when? - the date;

B) view vacancies - (date);

C) change summary - (date);

D) compose a cover letter (date);

D) send to employers on (date).

What you need to improve your skills:

A) prioritize which skills need to be strengthened (date);

B) choose a course (date);

C) reserve a place, make an advance payment (date).

Concrete actions + deadlines are important. When will you start? When will you finish?

With work, the example is clear. Take it and act, be proactive.

But what if the main reason for dissatisfaction with life is the lack of a “second half”. In this case, the planning of the goal and activities is that you influence it not directly, but indirectly. All actions are directed not to a specific object, but to events that will create conditions for you to find your “second half”.

Think about what might make it easier to meet your person. Perhaps it is a state of internal balance. If it doesn't exist, you need to create it. Then answer the question: "What do you need for balance and balance?". Maybe an emotional intelligence course? Maybe it's time to find time for a hobby? Or work with an image maker? Can you accept an invitation to attend an event? Or move to another city? It is important to maximize the use of intuition and creative thinking. And then turn large-scale goals into targeted actions.

Thus, an understanding of what needs to be changed, as well as a prescribed action plan, launch a positive life scenario. A stable "white streak" of life is provided by everyday achievements, large and small, which are sure to be.

Don't forget to celebrate small and big victories! It is very important to thank yourself and the world.

I wish you to write your own positive scenario and live in a stable "white streak"!

Life scenario: how to change it? Writing Your Life Script How to Rewrite Your New Life Script

CHAPTERS OF LIFE

KEY LIFE EVENTS

WHAT'S NEXT?

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