Practical advice on how to overcome difficulties in life. The myth of overcoming difficulties If you have to overcome difficulties all the time

Sometimes it seems that the world is divided into two components. On the one hand, success, health, material wealth, and on the other hand, failures, anxieties, illnesses, conflicts and lack of money. What if there are difficult times and life seems very difficult? How to survive difficulties in life, how to overcome unpleasant events?

How to survive failure

Every person has hard times. Someone copes with them easier, for someone, failures become an insurmountable life burden. What's the secret? Why do some people cope with life's difficulties? Practicing psychologist Carol Morgan has developed several rules for coping with failure.

We accept the situation

Our experiences occur only if we refuse to accept reality. If something can be changed, then action must be taken. But if nothing can be done, then there are two ways out. The first is to accept the situation and overcome the negativity. The second is to savor your failures and suffer.

There is no definition of "failure"

Carol advises excluding the words “failure”, “failure”, “I was not lucky again” from my vocabulary. It is worth remembering that all great people faced failure before their success. They never gave up and learned from their mistakes.

How failure looks in our eyes

It all depends on the point of view, if the trouble is a global problem, then it will fill all emotions and thoughts with negativity. Sometimes it's helpful to think that the situation is a lesson and you can benefit from it.

In most situations, external reality is our internal program. We like to think that circumstances change us. But in fact, they often appear because of our attitude. How to survive trouble? You can start to change yourself to change the situation.

If it doesn't work now, the best is on the way.

Carol Morgan says that often good things happen after something goes wrong. For example, being fired from a job seems like a disaster. But after the expiration of time, it turns out that this event helped to find his calling. Morgan recommends believing that everything is happening the way it should be.

Let go of desires

How to survive failure? Do not attach great importance to your desires. Many people, having not received their plan, fall into negativity. It is worth trying to be happy, regardless of getting what you want.

Let's experience joy

Morgan says that he knows a lot of people who literally forbid themselves to have fun. They are very dependent on their problems, internal chaos, that they cannot understand how to cope with difficulties. The psychologist advises to focus your attention not on difficulties, but on joys.

Avoiding Comparison

Yes, let someone have better times now, but why not look at those who are worse than you? Many people live in a state of poverty, disease, hunger. What do you have that is amazing that you can be proud of? What is worth living for in order to survive a difficult period in life?

I am not a victim

We ourselves create an image of a victim and an unfortunate person in our thoughts. It is worth taking personal responsibility, surviving difficulties, coping with your thoughts and actions. The psychologist recommends abandoning the image of the victim and becoming a winner.

Everything will change

How to get through hard times? It seems to us that there is no way out of their difficult situation. But there will be changes, nothing lasts forever, you need to give up the habit of thinking that everything will remain so forever.

Carol Morgan advises to believe that miracles are possible. You need to believe that happy events will happen soon. How to survive difficulties in life? Sometimes you just have to believe in miracles.

How to deal with problems

Problems do not allow to live in peace, there is no strength left, the difficult period has dragged on. How to survive problems? Recommendations:

1. We make lists. We describe all the difficulties point by point. When information is transferred to paper, the head is freed. We rank them in order of importance. What needs to be addressed as soon as possible? What can be left to chance? What situations can we let go? As a result, there won't be too many problems. We pay attention to the most important ones and develop a solution plan.
2. Let's leave the worry. How to deal with problems without anxiety? Let worry take 30 minutes of time per day, at this time we list all the horrors of what can happen. The rest of the time is spent looking for a solution.
3. You don't have to blame anyone else for your troubles. We alone are responsible for our lives. Negativity, anger and envy of other people will only slow down the way out of a difficult situation.
4. We let go of the past. We try to live here and now. No need to hold grudges. Look for patterns in events in the past. The situation has already happened, no one knows how life would have turned out, whether it became more difficult or easier for you.

Video: speech by Viktor Frankl, psychologist, concentration camp survivor. He managed to take this terrible experience as the basis of his scientific research.

Psychologists about life's difficulties

Many classics of psychology wrote about how to cope with problems, get through a life crisis. But the most famous work belongs to Viktor Frankl, he is called "Psychologist in a concentration camp." His life itself is overcoming, he survived in inhuman conditions. People were dying before his eyes, they were insulted and humiliated.

What helped Frankl survive? He followed his concept, the psychologist says that in difficult conditions, not the one who has a healthy body survives, but only the one who has a strong spirit. His books and concept about the perseverance of the spirit, which helped to find the meaning of life for millions of people in the world.

So how do you deal with failure? Grow spiritually, do not give up, look for the meaning of life and believe in the best.

Voltaire [Marie Francois Arouet]

The need to overcome various life difficulties arises in our lives constantly. This is the kind of work that we regularly have to do. After all, it is simply impossible to imagine life without difficulties. Difficulties arise for everyone and always. No matter where and how a person lives, he will constantly face certain life difficulties, because they are inevitable. And since they are inevitable, we all need to be able to overcome them. And in order to overcome difficulties, you need to be able to perceive them correctly and evaluate them correctly, in order to then develop the necessary strategy to overcome them. All this can be learned - any of you, dear readers, can learn this. And in this article, I'm just going to teach you how, firstly, to perceive difficulties correctly, secondly, to analyze them competently, and thirdly, to find the right solutions to overcome them and then immediately immediately proceed to the necessary actions. . Read the article to the end - and no life difficulties will continue to be terrible for you.

But before we move on to our main task, let's quickly find out what difficulties are. We must know what we are dealing with. Difficulties are such obstacles in the way of a person that arise in unfamiliar, unusual circumstances for him, when he has to solve non-standard and therefore difficult tasks, which we often call problems. It is difficult for him to solve them because he simply does not know exactly how to do it, and not because they are very complex in themselves. That is, those obstacles, barriers, barriers, obstacles that we perceive as difficulties - arise primarily in our head and are related specifically to us. In fact, difficulties can be the same ordinary things that a person does in his life all the time, without even thinking about how difficult they are for him. But, if they turn out to be unusual, unusual, non-standard things for him, which he does not know how to do, he will have difficulties. In other words, we are talking about new life tasks, for the solution of which it is necessary to understand them. And until a person understands them, they will remain difficulties for him. A difficult situation is simply an unusual situation when a person faces tasks that he has no experience in solving. That, in fact, is all. And there is nothing wrong with difficulties. This is very important to understand, friends. After all, the devil is not so terrible as he is painted. Difficulties become difficulties only because we treat them as difficulties, endowing this concept with a negative meaning. Let us now see what the meaning of difficulties is, in order to learn to perceive them normally and calmly.

What is the point of hardship

So, let's think about why life cannot be such that there are no difficulties and problems in it at all, so that you can live and not care about anything, not worry about anything, not puzzle over all sorts of difficulties that always complicate and make our lives worse. Therefore, our life cannot be such that the absence of any problems, difficulties, obstacles in it would make it very boring, not interesting and meaningless. The absence of difficulties in life would not allow it to develop, we would stop developing, and everything would remain at the same level, nothing would change in our life. And if a person does not develop, then he begins to degrade. After all, life itself, if we look closely at it, is a constant process, it is a movement from something to something - from birth to death, from an undeveloped state to a developed one, from simple to complex, from one form to another. And it is thanks to this movement, this continuous process of transition from one state to another, that we live, we value and love our life, we value it, support it, see the meaning in it. Therefore, our life cannot be without difficulties, for difficulties are life itself. They are the ones who make us change, they are the ones who keep us alive and guide us through life. And the one who denies the need for difficulties, in fact, denies life itself. And this speaks of the initial stage of degradation. The need for the absence of difficulties is not a normal need. The normal need is the need to solve problems. Only in this case a person lives, and does not live his life. Therefore, the meaning of difficulties is to support life, to make it interesting, to give it meaning, and also to develop people, that is, you and me. So life without difficulties is not life, it is something else.

Thus, in order not to go against the fundamental laws of life, you and I need to recognize the usefulness and interestingness of all those difficulties that life regularly throws at us. This will allow us, you friends, to change our attitude towards them. And thanks to this, you will take the first step towards overcoming them. We will learn to smoothly overcome difficulties so that you don’t even notice how they turn from difficulties into part of everyday tasks that you can easily solve. But keep in mind that the ease of solving them will depend on your attitude towards them, and not on the process itself.

How to deal with difficulties

Now let's talk in more detail about how to perceive difficulties in order to learn how to overcome them. I have already said above that it is important, very important to understand the usefulness and necessity of various kinds of difficulties in our life. And also their inevitability. It is important to understand that various difficulties and problems are our life. Or rather, its integral part. Without them, you would not be interested in living, without them you would not see life at all, not to mention the fact that without difficulties you would not be able and would not want to develop. Life cannot be improved without development. Therefore, life always keeps us in good shape when it throws us certain difficulties. And I believe that these difficulties should be considered as a test that each of us must pass regularly in order not to lose interest in life, and in order to constantly develop. Therefore, let's just perceive them in this way - as tests. And even better, as a game in which we need to pass these tests in order to become stronger. Do you like this approach to difficulties? I really like. I hope you do too.

Therefore, there is no need to look at difficulties as something bad, wrong, harmful, undesirable - rejoice at them, accept them, look at working with them as a game that you need to win. Moreover, this is such a game that spins in a spiral, this is when, overcoming all sorts of difficulties, you become stronger and stronger, moving from one difficulty to another. And as you become stronger, you improve your life, because many things begin to work out for you, many things become within your power. Think about what abilities you can develop in yourself by taking on the solution of a particular problem. And how these abilities will affect your future life. It is clear that it is positive, because the more we know how to do, the easier it is for us to live. So difficulties are a kind of simulator for personal growth, with the help of which you will make yourself stronger and rise to new heights for you. It's so cool, you see. I tell you this as a person who constantly solves some problems, not only his own, but also others. Moreover, when solving other people's problems - I make them my own problems, I get used to them, I take the place of another person, as far as possible and begin to live with his problem in order to solve it later. And you know what? I like it. I have long ceased to be afraid of any problems and life difficulties, because I know that all problems can be solved. But the main thing is not this. The main thing is that by solving these problems, I stop seeing problems in problems, I become stronger and overcome difficulties without noticing them. This is how difficulties affect our lives, if they are treated correctly.

This is how you, friends, need to perceive the difficulties in your life in order to deal with them correctly. Our understanding and acceptance of them begins with our correct attitude towards them. Why do we need an easy and carefree life, well, think for yourself, why? Just to burn it faster? What is the point of just existing, what is the joy in that? It is much more interesting to live, overcoming difficulties and constantly developing yourself with their help, in order to expand the horizons of your life through this and see something new, experience new sensations, and achieve more. It's such an interesting game. We need to thank life for it.

Overcoming difficulties

Having dealt with the correct perception of life's difficulties and our attitude towards them based on this perception, we will move on with you to ways to overcome them. And in order to overcome difficulties, no longer in my head, as I wrote above, but in real life, it is extremely important to identify the causes of their occurrence and deal with the basics of these causes. That is, it is necessary to conduct a thorough analysis of our difficulties in order to understand why they arose and how best to overcome them, with the help of what specific actions.

Some difficulties arise in objective reasons when life circumstances are not in the best way for a person, and nothing can be done about them - you need to either accept reality as it is, or look for ways to get away from it into another reality. Well, you know, how it sometimes happens when a person is surrounded by the wrong people, whom he, with all his desire, cannot change - he has no choice but to simply get away from them, get rid of their environment. Or, say, a person can live in a country in which, for a number of reasons, he has no prospects, and then it is easier for him to change this country than to change it. Difficulties that arise for objective reasons require us to make the right decisions. They just guide us through life. But it also happens that people themselves drive themselves into difficult life situations and then, instead of admitting their own mistakes and starting to solve them, they blame other people for their problems, thereby shifting responsibility for their lives to everyone except themselves. And this is a dead end, friends, this is a dead end. And you can’t get out of it - if you don’t start to figure out what happened and for what reason, and what exactly you did wrong, because of which certain difficulties arose in your life. At the same time, there is no need to blame anyone - not circumstances, not other people - this is pointless. If you yourself got into a dead end in the labyrinth, then you have to get out of it. Blaming the labyrinth for its existence is just as pointless as blaming life for being the way it is. From our dissatisfaction and accusations of everyone and everything, the fundamental laws of nature do not change. By the way, you don't have to blame yourself either. If you yourself have created problems for yourself, then look at it philosophically - you will do it better than other people. This will allow you to take control of your own life.

Now let's move on to the step-by-step actions with which you can overcome your difficulties.

1. Concentration. To cope with a problem, to solve a problem, to overcome some difficulties, you need to be able to concentrate on them. It's not an easy task, I know from my own experience. But doable, I know that too. In order to concentrate on something, you need to put things in order in your head - throw out all the useless thoughts that create noise from it, streamline your thinking, put everything on the shelves, and then carefully and consistently begin to study your problem, or better to say, task. Many difficulties disappear already at this stage of working with them, when there is no need to look for any solutions, and no action needs to be taken. It is enough just to concentrate on your difficulties and understand what exactly they are, what caused them and what they need from you. So concentration is very important, it will help you not to mix your thoughts with each other and not to dump them in one heap. From this, the problems only get worse, and the tasks become more complicated. If you do not know how to concentrate, do not know how to manage your attention - learn! This is within the power of every person. You must be able to manage your attention, otherwise other people will manage it, they will simply start stealing it from you and using it in their own interests. You don't need it, do you? In the future, I will write for you, dear readers, articles on the topic of concentration to teach you how to concentrate. We will study this topic in the most thorough way. So don't forget to keep the site updated.

2. Analysis. Now let's move on to the analysis. Let's talk about how to do it. You need to make an analysis of the situation in which you find yourself, as well as an analysis of the actions by which you came to this situation, and then an analysis of the difficulties that you encountered. After analyzing the situation, you will immediately understand its pattern, which means you can eliminate the root cause of your problems. Difficulties themselves always tell us the way to overcome them, if we carefully study them. I will write a separate article on how to analyze this or that situation, but for now I will point out to you the most important aspect of this work. You do not have to consider all the reasons why certain difficulties have arisen in your life - it is enough to find the main reason, or several main reasons. And for this it is necessary to think not in breadth, but in depth.

How to do it? Through the study of causal-effect relationships. It is possible, and vice versa, to study causal relationships, it is not so important what is primary and what is secondary. But I think it's much easier to move from effect to cause when analyzing a situation, rather than from cause to effect. I think it's more convenient. So, let's say you find yourself in a situation due to which you have certain difficulties, and this situation is a consequence, a consequence of some of your actions and circumstances. The question is - which ones? To understand this, you need to remember everything that you did before you had difficulties. Do not take into account only what, from your point of view, could lead you to the situation in which you find yourself. You may be wrong. Therefore, take into account all the decisions you have made and the actions you have taken. Then determine their sequence in order to understand which of your actions was performed earlier and which later, that is, which follows which. This will help you find one or more root causes. Then you need to turn your attention to the objective factors that may have been decisive in the process of shaping your situation, and perhaps not. You also need to decompose them by time in order to understand how it all began. Suppose you have material difficulties in your life, and you must understand exactly why this happened. Perhaps it's all about the crisis that has knocked down many people, not just you. This is, so to speak, an objective factor. Or perhaps the whole point is to reduce your income, which has declined for certain reasons that depend on you. You need to find out exactly why this happened. In other words, all difficulties have underlying causes, which in turn can be in the form of objective and subjective factors. As a rule, both those and other factors to a certain extent influence the formation of various life situations. Only some of them play a more important role, and some less important. And it will be easier for you to understand the reason for the occurrence of certain difficulties in you, the more fundamental the factors that you found that led to them turn out to be.

Simply put, you need to find the root of your difficulties in order to eliminate it as the root cause. Thus, the analysis will allow you to break down your situation into those time periods from which it has developed, and when you find the main reason that led you to this situation, you can eliminate it. Well, or a specialist to whom you turn for help, having studied your situation, will do it for you.

3. Responsibility. The next thing you should pay attention to in order to overcome difficulties and solve all sorts of problems is that you do not need to blame them on anyone. Basically, I'm talking about people's complaints about their lives, that they cry when they tell other people about their difficulties and often want to be sympathized with, to be pitied. Not to help, suggest what and how to do in order to solve their problems, but simply sympathize. Friends are very bad habit. It may be useful for someone to cry, complain, talking about their problems for psychological relaxation, but this teaches a person to put up with them, put up with their difficulties, instead of overcoming them. And if a person does not overcome his difficulties, but puts up with them, then he deprives them of their meaning. Difficulties arise in a person's life not so that he complains about them, but so that he overcomes them. Life wants from a person that he becomes stronger, that he develops, that he takes a worthy place in society, so she trains him with the help of her trials. And if a person refuses them, these tests, he goes against the laws of the universe, against the laws of the Universe, against the laws of God. Here's what's important to understand. Therefore, there is no need to complain, no need to cry - look for a solution to the tasks you are facing, do it yourself or with the help of specialists whose knowledge and experience will help you solve all your problems. That's what is required of you - the ability to solve problems, including non-standard ones. This is what you do, with the help of your own and outside resources. And you don’t need to whine and complain about your life - it won’t give you anything. But if you need it, then please - whine, complain, feel sorry for yourself. But then, when it becomes easier for you, start solving your problems, overcome the difficulties that have arisen in your life. The problem is not in tears and snot, the problem is inaction. The main thing is that you are not passive, that you do not put up with your problems and difficulties, and do not shift the responsibility for them to other people, just to do nothing. You understand that this will not lead to anything good for you, your problems will only get worse.

4. Emotions. Emotion control is also quite an important point in overcoming difficulties. Emotions, you know, push us to the most primitive actions, to the most obvious decisions, to absolutely ill-conceived actions. Because of this, we make mistakes, thereby not solving, but exacerbating our problems. Emotions are inevitable and not only necessary, but they must be controlled. There is good ways that allow you to do this, and I have repeatedly written about them on this site. The main thing is to turn on your thinking when emotions begin to overcome you, and for this you need to load yourself with questions, and of course, start looking for answers to them, and then the thinking process will start. By subduing your emotions, you will significantly simplify the solution of the problems and tasks you face. After all, we are mainly because of them, because of emotions - we make an elephant out of a fly, sometimes seeing difficulties and problems in what they really do not exist. So who knows, perhaps by calming yourself - you will immediately get rid of all your problems. But, in some cases, in order for an impetus to action to appear, it is necessary to experience strong emotions. It doesn’t matter if these emotions are positive or negative, different people have different motivations, it is important that, having experienced these emotions, a person gets off the ground and takes action. So, if, say, you are experiencing life difficulties, which are mainly related to your passivity and laziness, then a portion of strong negative emotions it obviously won't hurt you if it makes you move. Emotions give a person energy to perform actions, so I do not urge you to give them up, you just need to learn how to control and manage them. If you learn this, and I am sure you will learn - I will teach you this, then the number of mistakes you make in your life will decrease significantly. And you can motivate yourself with the help of your emotions, to overcome the same difficulties, if, or rather, when, you take them under your control.

5. Confidence. Without a doubt, self-confidence contributes to solving all the problems that may arise in our life, and, accordingly, it also contributes to overcoming life's difficulties. But now I would like to point out to you another confidence, one that is connected with the difficulties that life throws at us as, as we agreed, tests. Friends, I am absolutely convinced that life always throws us only such difficulties that we can overcome. She does not have a goal - to break us, she does not need it. But no one has canceled the law of natural selection - if you want to survive, you must be strong. And to be strong, you have to put yourself to the test - physical, mental and intellectual. And the difficulties that arise in our lives do just that - they moderately burden us. Therefore, even if you are an insecure person, then at least be sure that the difficulties that you face in your life are within your power to overcome. This I guarantee you. It really is. The confidence that you can overcome all the trials that life puts you through is what you need to overcome difficulties. At the same time, I repeat, you can even be an insecure person, it does not matter, you can still overcome all the difficulties that are in your life. They, these difficulties, are prescribed to you by life according to an individual prescription. So they are in your teeth, do not doubt it. But if you also develop self-confidence, it will be absolutely fine.

Here, in fact, are all the basic steps that you need to take to overcome various life difficulties. I did not go into too much detail on this topic, otherwise the article will turn out to be too large, not everyone will dare to read it. Better in the future, I will return to this topic again and consider it from other points of view, for a better understanding of it. In the meantime, you see, there is nothing complicated in the actions I have described. First of all, you need to change your attitude to difficulties so that they do not frighten and suppress you, then analyze them in the way I have proposed, then develop a simple plan of action and proceed to its implementation. Everything else is the procedures accompanying this process.

So, as you can see, friends, to overcome difficulties, whatever they may be, is within the power of every person. You just need to accustom yourself to this, and then you will not even notice many difficulties and problems, because they will not cause you any discomfort, and you will automatically begin to solve them all. This is called unconscious competence, when everything works out as it should, without any tension.

Marina Nikitina

It is difficult to find a person who does not know what the difficulties of life are. But there are millions of people in the world who do not know how to overcome these difficulties. They lie to themselves, denying the existence of difficulties, give up, stopping all attempts to solve problems or understand them. What does this lead to? Nothing positive. A person falls into a prolonged depression or gets nervous, mental illness.

If you are a strong-willed person, accustomed to face the truth, then this information will not be useful to you. If you do not have the courage to solve problems, work on yourself from today, because you have already taken a small step in this direction - you have decided to learn how to overcome difficulties.

Problem Diagnosis

To fight the enemy you need to know him by sight. Therefore, we first determine the presence of difficulties and see which category they belong to. Life difficulties:

Serious problems from the outside (loss of the most expensive property, a house burned down, a large amount of money was stolen, the death of a loved one, an incurable disease).
Difficulties of medium difficulty (kicked out of work, wife, you got sick, no means of subsistence).
Difficulties in self-identification, psychological problems (feelings of inferiority or worthlessness, depression, panic).
Domestic difficulties (tired of cleaning, cooking, quarreling with her husband because of his carelessness, plumbing is out of order, not enough money, the phone crashed, difficulties in family life).

The problems described in the first two paragraphs are not necessarily the most difficult. The third type of problems - psychological - can be of any complexity. It is difficult to analyze the subtle world called “psyche”, therefore, in order to deal with this kind of problems, one must try. Everyday difficulties from the last category are only at first glance inferior in complexity to the previous ones, they drag you into a pool of sadness, fear, sluggish destructive hatred for yourself and the rest of the world. Therefore, any of the problems is serious, especially for the one who has it.

Making a willful decision to fight

Giving a clear name is a must, because vague complaints like “I feel bad, my soul hurts, it’s hard, but I don’t know why” and it’s impossible to “cure”.

After realizing the problem, you already have a formulation. It is not always easy to take even this step, but you should not think about it, do it in order, so to speak, in small steps. Thus, you will go through the whole long, albeit difficult, path. Don't forget: "Great things start small."

After looking into the eyes of your difficulty, the problem will already decrease in size. Now it will not pulsate in your exhausted brain every day or seem like a black bottomless abyss. No, after the bold step of identifying the problem, you have already seen your enemy and know his size. It turns out that this is not a bottomless abyss, although it is very deep in some particularly serious cases.

How often does it happen that a person knows a problem that has been bugging him for a long time, but does not want to fight, he is disappointed in life, does not believe in himself and walks like a psychological corpse - Homo Sapiens lives, eats, breathes, but interest in anything has disappeared , life is disgusting only by the fact of its presence. What is there to advise?

Strange as it may sound, but if it seems to you that the end of the person you previously saw in the mirror has come, it’s good because there is nothing to lose in such a situation. It remains only to decide to fight, to solve problems.

You ask, what to do if it is completely incomprehensible in which direction to move? Do you need to do something, even if you are not sure of the correct path? Of course yes. Here is an example. Imagine that you have a small wooden box in front of you. It is filled with balls of the same size, but of different colors: first, a handful of black balls are poured, and the same number of white ones are on top. The box is closed.

Now we draw parallels: one of the black balls is you. The ball lies at the bottom of the box, there are black balls around, there is also a large layer of balls on top and the situation seems completely hopeless, since there is no way to get up and there are no known ways to solve the problem.

Now imagine that you take the box in your hands and start shaking it. Yes, at first glance you are doing actions at random. You do not know what is happening inside, you know one thing - when you shake the box, at least something happens inside. And now let's reveal the cards: in the process of such shaking, the balls in the box begin to mix. It happens randomly, but everyone has heard the theory of probability.

So, according to this theory, the balls in the box will eventually return to their original position with almost zero probability. So to do at least something is, with decadent moods. And there, you see, during the shaking you will understand in which direction you need to tilt the box and your ball will be pushed up by other balls.

Difficulties in a person's life

Imagine life without hardship. It seemed like it could be better. You will be surprised, but it is the presence of difficulties that shows us how good life can be, gives us food for thought, makes us, like the balls from the example above, move. If the difficulties in a person's life disappear, then there will be nothing to compare other events with, no one will even imagine what difficulties are, nor what joyful events are. They will not be, because everything will be painfully the same.

To maintain vitality, to maintain self-control, you must always remember what was written on the ring of King Solomon. It said, "This too shall pass." When he had, he looked at this inscription and calmed down, because there was an installation that everything would pass. But he was in no hurry to rejoice, so as not to be upset later, because even in this case he looked at the inscription and was convinced that this too would pass, that everything in the world was passing and passing.

Ways to overcome the difficulties of life

Overcoming the difficulties of life is organized in many different ways. The first way: repeat the example of King Solomon. You can really engrave the ring in a jewelry store and always wear it on your finger. Another way to look at this wise expression is to make a beautiful sign that will hang in a conspicuous place in your home.

Let in your head not a picture of a sad development of events for you, but this useful phrase. In the meantime, you will begin to take any action, at least to divert attention, then you will understand what to do to directly solve the problem.

Don't be afraid to think about your enemy - about the problem that poisons your existence. It is better to muster up the courage and analyze whether the grief is as great as his tortured brain represents. Analyze it. Ask yourself: “Yes, I have a problem. And what follows from this? What are the consequences of an unresolved problem?” You need to represent honestly: choose not only negative consequences, but also a positive outcome of events. After all, you must clearly understand that there are always several options for the outcome, and excluding the positive ones, you do not leave yourself a chance to change something.

Remember that you need to be sure to break the repetitive cycle of negative thinking. This is difficult because thought patterns (the paths that thought takes through the neurons of the brain) are already well-worn paths: the more they are walked on, the bigger they become. It is already difficult to think differently, but you do it. All events in life follow your thoughts. That is, first you give an assessment of the event in your head, coloring it in some color, and only then look at everything else through the prism of your assessment. Throw away at least for a while black colors from your palette of thoughts. Any event for the universe has no emotional color, neither good nor bad. So for one person the event will be bad, and for the other it will be good. Only people evaluate events, only you decide whether you will learn a lesson from what is happening or it will crush you with your own permission.

If your problem came from outside, for example, a loved one died or you were left homeless, then the positive thinking techniques described above will come to your aid. In the case when the problem concerns your psyche and worldview, the “pattern break” technique will help. The mechanism of the passage of thoughts (nerve impulses) through the neurons of the brain has already been described above. It is much easier for a lazy brain to let its thoughts go along already known paths - patterns of behavior. Will have to make an effort of will to "blaze" a new path.

In fact, this way looks like this. Experiment with any thought (it is not necessary to immediately reflect on the problem that bothers you). For this exercise, any statement that you have no doubt about, that is already firmly stuck in the brain, will do. Usually it is from such thoughts and behavioral reactions that a pattern is formed.

Next, try to doubt this statement. This will be difficult to do, because it has been fixed many years ago and it seems that there can be no other opinion. When you try to convince yourself that long-familiar things may be completely different from what they seem, you will feel a kind of resistance. It's like cutting a path through the impenetrable jungle with a machete, sweating, despite the fact that there is a path already cut in the thickets nearby.

If you work on yourself so regularly, you will definitely pave new paths. It cannot be otherwise, this is how you once formed ideas about the world that you are now guided by without subjecting them to analysis. But it is precisely for a conscious life, and not a semi-automatic one, that we are given the opportunity to be aware of ourselves, along with which we need for thoughts and actions.

There is another plus: when you look for new variations (logical connections), new connections are formed among the billions of brain neurons, even if such thoughts seem fantastic at first - it doesn’t matter, the main thing is to cover the brain with a network of connections. Then one day a brilliant idea or an amazing solution to a problem will come to you that you could not have thought of before, because the vast majority of neurons are now connected to any of them, even a distant neuron (although the word “remote” does not fit the description of instantaneous neural connections). ).

“If you cannot change the circumstances, change your attitude towards them” - stick to this rule.

March 23, 2014, 03:41 pm

Difficulties in life are more than just single difficulties or failures. Troubles or hardships can be seen as a series of hardships or misfortunes that keep you from reaching your goals and make you feel unhappy. So how can this situation be overcome? This is actually easier said than done, but you can overcome adversity if you develop the right attitude and take the steps to get what you want and deserve. If you want to start overcoming difficulties right now, see step 1.

Steps

Part 1

Shaping your point of view

Don't let your past dictate your future. There are a number of ways how this can be done. Maybe you grew up in a rough environment where you were never encouraged. This should not make you think that you will never succeed in your current environment. Maybe you're trying to become an actress but haven't made it through your last thirty auditions; don't let that make you think you'll never get a call again. Focus on what is in front of you and on achieving what you want to achieve despite your past.

• Think about how much sweeter success will be when you can say that you got what you worked for, despite a past that dictated otherwise.
• A difficult past can make a successful future even more productive. You can't measure your success in acting, business, painting, etc. if you get everything on the first try.

1. Focus on the positive. Although this is the last thing you are capable of after a series of setbacks or a general sense of hopelessness, you must focus on the positive. This is exactly what you need to do to ensure your survival. If you want to overcome all adversity, you must focus on the positive, whether that means the positive aspects of your situation or the positive outcomes you will achieve in the future. Make a list of all the positive things in your life, or all the good things that you might be looking forward to, and you will find that you are much happier than you think.

   • Focusing on the positives will help you develop a more positive attitude, which in turn will help you succeed.
   • Start being happy right now. Some people think, "Once I reach goal X, I will be happy. I will work, work, work to achieve it, and then fulfill myself." Well, that's the wrong attitude. The right attitude is: "I'm already happy because I'm working towards goal X. And being happy while working towards this goal will help me achieve it faster. Everyone wins!"

2. Accept the inevitability of fate. Another thing is what you need to do to overcome all adversity and accept the fact that it can happen to anyone. Unfortunately, some people face more trouble than others, but that doesn't mean you can't accept your fate and work to overcome adversity as much as you can. Instead of denying that you are struggling, feeling that it is not really happening, or that you can run away from conflict, you must be able to accept adversity in your life if you want to be able to fight it.

   • Do not look around at your neighbors, friends and colleagues and do not think that everything that happens to you is unfair. Of course, this may be true, but instead of obsessing over her, accept what is happening and move on.

3. Find inner strength. Kelly Clarkson, among many others, once said, "Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger", unfortunately this is not 100% true. Of course, people can grow morally and become stronger in the process from adversity if they develop methods to deal with this problem. But people who have been repeatedly beaten and who do not have the mental toughness to deal with their problems end up getting weaker. Don't be afraid of it. Work on building up your mental resilience so that you can deal with any problems that may arise. Here are some things you can do:

   • Write down everything that worries you in a diary. Don't rant or complain. Rather, make it a habit to chronicle the events that bother you and start sorting them out.
   • Meditate daily. Just 10-20 minutes of daily meditation can help you overcome difficulties with an honest attitude towards them.
   • Don't set unrealistic goals. If you plan to be a rock star, pop star, CEO(within a year), an Olympic athlete after three months of training, etc., you are bound to be disappointed. You can still set high goals, but don't let all your happiness or success depend on whether you actually achieve something extraordinary.

4. Accept mistakes as a method of learning opportunities. Don't look at your mistakes as setbacks or setbacks or punishments for thinking differently. Instead, understand and acknowledge when you did something wrong, and ask yourself what you understood in this situation and what you will do differently next time. Think about what you could have done differently, but don't beat yourself up about what you did; make a list of all the reasons, this experience will make you more collected next time.

   • You must also learn to recognize your mistakes. Don't blame yourself and think that you did something wrong if someone really hurt you, or if you suffered a professional failure despite doing everything absolutely right.

5. Define the problem. Maybe the problem is the general feeling that you just can't excel at something. Maybe you feel like the environment is pulling you down. Or maybe you feel like you're too hard on yourself or doomed to fail and never get anywhere. The sooner you identify the real problem, the faster you can move towards solving it. If you spend any time really thinking about the problem, you may find that the problem is something other than what you thought.

   • For example, you may think that adversity is the reason for the total lack of respect in the workplace. Maybe people treat you with rudeness, fill up extra work and participation in promotions without saying thank you, and so on. But if you dig deeper, you can see that the real problem is that you don't believe in your work and want to find something more meaningful. In this case, none of the original problems matter much!

6. Self-control should be above all. Even though no one will expect you to laugh and be full of life during times of great difficulty, you should try to keep your composure as much as possible, if only to succeed yourself. You can cry, you can let your emotions out, you can talk about the situation with your three best friends, but after a while you have to let go of the situation in order to move forward. If you are sad, lethargic, have money problems for several months after some serious trouble, you will not be able to move forward, think creatively or find answers to your questions.

   • If you really need some time to recover, take it. Don't force yourself to act like you're fine when you really aren't. But you cannot allow the external situation to upset you all the time. You must find a way to keep your calm and poise.

   Part 2

   Taking action

   1. Return upstairs. It is important to get back on the horse and try to achieve it until you achieve it. You stop, ask meaningful questions, and regroup, all of which are essential to your success. You cannot continue to feel sorry for yourself or feel like a failure all your life. And the sooner (within the limits of possibility) you get back on your horse, the better! This does not mean that you should go and do what you did before (see next step), you should make a plan, go out and do something that can help you.

      • Set limits for yourself. If everything that happened was really bad, give yourself a month or two to recover. If it was only kind of bad, give yourself a few weeks. The mope setting can help you visualize future success and will keep you from getting stuck in that rut forever.

   2. Stop doing the same thing to get different results. If what you have been doing is not working (you have been doing it for a year or ten years), then something needs to be addressed. If you keep doing this, you are probably going to get the same old results over and over again. This means that you must do something different to get a different result. For example, find another job, find another partner, move to a different area, or do something that you think will lead to new results.

      • Of course, sometimes it's just a matter of trying until you succeed. If you want to be an actress, then yes, you should keep going to auditions. But if that doesn't work, consider what you can change. Maybe go to other kinds of auditions or change your acting style to make it successful.

   3. Make a gratitude list. Make a list of at least three things you are grateful for every day. Keep a journal of positive experiences at least every other day, so that you are constantly reminded of the good things in your life. Write down the things you are grateful for, the things that make you happy, and all the joys that fill your life. You may not feel like there are so many things to be happy right now, but if you dig deeper, you will see that you have more than just being grateful than you originally thought.

      • Spend just 10-15 minutes a day thinking about the things you are grateful for. Surely you have time for this?

   4. The key to success is to draw attention to yourself. If you are not visible, how can you overcome all adversity? You have to keep trying, keep going, keep fighting to succeed, even if it means you have to change the battle plan. Be stubborn. Be aggressive. Be persistent. Know that nothing good can happen if you just lie in bed thinking about the great things that are about to happen to you. No one is going to call you and acknowledge your hard work if you don't try!

   5. Spend time with successful people. You don't have to be the most successful person in your group of friends. Well, if you are Bill Gates, then such things are inevitable, but in general, you will have to spend time in the company of people who work hard in pursuit of their dreams and the search for the meaning of life. This does not mean that they should be leaders. They can be poets, sponsors, avid gardeners - just people who know what they want and who will follow them. Talk to them about how they got to where they are now. See how they overcame adversity. You can learn a lot from other people and they can help you realize your own dreams.

      • This does not mean that you should sacrifice your less successful friends for more successful ones. But that means you have to look successful people!

   6. Don't isolate yourself. Don't be alone in times of trouble. It will only make you feel more crappy, lonely, sad and frustrated about everything. You don't have to complain about your problems to every stranger on the street, but you do have to stay social, spend time with family and friends, or even go out to dinner with co-workers just to get some outdoor time. You can pout with your failures, but that's not the way to get what you want.

      • It may help to talk about the problems you are facing. Finding a trusted friend or two, or even a therapist if needed, can help you sort out your thoughts. Sometimes just stating your problems is half the battle.

   7. Lean on your support. A strong support system (friends, family, supportive colleagues, great neighbors, or even the online community you belong to) can get you through anything. It is very difficult to overcome all adversity when you feel 100% independent. Have people to turn to when you need it, or even if you don't need anything but laughter and a good time. This can come in handy when you need to talk to someone.

      • Develop a support system early on before you fail. Maybe these will be people who can be called in case of need. This can be difficult to do when you are already in a crisis situation.

   Part 3

   Stay on the go

   1. Find creative solutions. If you want to stay on track and get rid of this whole problematic situation, then you may have to find a creative solution to your problems. To open your mind to creativity, you need to feel comfortable enough with yourself and have enough room to breathe freely and not wallow in your own thoughts. That means finding a way to follow your passion, raising your kids, finding a way to market yourself in a career, or remembering some old contact that can help you get exactly what you need.

      • Expand your mind. Spend time doing creative activities, like writing short stories about painting. It can help you look at your own life in a creative way.

   2. You should always have a plan B. If you feel like you are facing a ton of adversity and that you will never be able to get what you want, it is only because you are unable to imagine happiness in one form. Maybe you've always wanted to be in the NBA. Maybe you thought that you should publish the work you wrote at the age of 30, or your life has no meaning. Maybe you felt like you should have started your own successful business, or you would be a complete loser. Well, part of overcoming adversity is overcoming the idea that there is only one way you can find happiness.

      • Make a list of all the other things that will make you happy and fulfilled. Not many people achieve to get into the NBA, and most likely it will not be you. But it's not that bad! Instead of looking for happiness in just one form, expand your mind to find something else that can make your life worth living.
      • Find something you're good at; whether it's related to your career or not, it can help you believe in yourself.
      • Make a list of weaknesses and things you want to work on, and tackle them one by one. The sooner you start working on your imperfections, the better.

   3. Take care of yourself. No matter how busy you are or how stressed you are, make sure you get three healthy meals a day and about 7-8 hours of sleep. And do what you have to do to feel healthy. Your health and well-being shouldn't be sidelined just because you're trying to pay off your loans, start your own business, or solve personal problems.

      • Your health should always be an absolute priority. It can never be left on the sidelines, and everything else will follow.

   4. Remember your goals. In the end, if you want to stay focused on overcoming difficulties, you must remember that your goals and what you have are for your own future. You must not forget what you set out to do, whether it was writing an amazing novel, creating non-profit organization or helping the homeless. Write these goals down as a list along with reasons why you want to do what you want to do and look at them more often. You will feel excited thinking about how good it will be when you finally achieve your goal.

      • You can forget what your ultimate goals were when you feel like you've been working on them all day and it's getting nowhere. It's important to keep them at the forefront of your mind so that even the most trivial tasks make sense. If you keep looking forward and not backward, be sure to succeed!
   • Do something productive or creative when you're stressed and you'll see your stress levels go down very quickly.

Amy Morin

To survive during any trials, you need to be able to control your thoughts, feelings and actions. Here are four simple tips to help you.

1. Accept reality

Acceptance does not mean consent. You just need to recognize that this or that event is a fait accompli. Resisting and repeating that this should not have happened, you are just wasting time and effort. By accepting what is happening, you will take the first step in order to find a way out of the situation.

Imagine a traffic jam. One person will think: “How unfair! And why does this always happen to me? He will begin to get angry, nervous and swear with other drivers.

The mentally resilient person will simply remind himself, “There are millions of cars on the roads every day, and naturally there will be traffic jams from time to time.” This attitude will help keep you calm. Such a person will turn on and wait for the movement to recover.

To accept reality, we need to understand what we can control and what we can't. In situations that you have no control over, try to control yourself.

2. Stop feeling sorry for yourself

Acceptance of reality will help streamline thoughts and feelings. This is the key to productive behavior. How we behave when faced with a problem determines how quickly we find a solution to it. Even if our problem cannot be solved (for example,), we still choose how to react to what happened every time.

Do not indulge in self-pity. It will not allow you to move on and completely deprive you of the strength of the spirit. Ask yourself, “What can I do right now to help myself in some way?” You may have to overcome your fear or do something unpleasant. The main thing is to act.

3. Control sad thoughts

The mind can be both our best ally and our worst enemy. If you allow me negative thoughts take control of yourself, you just won't be able to do anything.

Thoughts like “I can never do this” or “I can’t take a minute longer” will prevent you from achieving your goals. So try to notice when your thoughts become too pessimistic.

If you feel like you are panicking, think about what you would say if your friend were in this situation. Surely you would encourage him and assure him that everything will work out for him.

4. Train mental resilience in advance

A crisis situation is not the right time to start developing psychological resilience. This must be done in advance.

You won't wait until you need to lift something heavy to start pumping muscles, will you? It is unlikely that it will help you if you take it five minutes before moving the sofa. But by building up strength gradually, you will be able to lift more weight.

The same can be said about psychological stability. So that you have enough fortitude to overcome life's difficulties, train it every day.